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#1
I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy
a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful woman
assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it.
She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one.

I honestly answered, "No, this is my first time."

So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her
thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I
apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the store
to see if it was empty. It was empty.

"Just a minute," she said, and walked to the door, and locked it.
Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse
and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. "Do these
excite you?" she asked. Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do
was nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on.
As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties
and lay down on a desk. "Well, come on", she said, "We don't have much time."

So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could
no longer hold back and KAPOW, I was done within a few minutes.

She looked at me with a bit of a frown. "Did you put that condom on?"
she asked. I said, "I sure did," and held up my thumb to show her.

She fainted.
#4
You didn't know how to use a condom at 16?


You sir, fail!
"A war is coming, I've seen it in my dreams. Fires sweeping through the earth, bodies in the streets, cities turned to dust. Retaliation..."


Check out my amazing band!
An Abstract Illusion
#7
I was just going to call on bs, but then realized it was a joke
Quote by Seryaph
Great.


You just single-handedly caused an entire future generation of people to be flushed down the toilet.

Good job, TS.
#12
Whoa, and I thought I was the only one that this happened to...
Too many people own guitars. Someone had better go play a... clarinet or something.

:stickpoke

That means you.

Quote by slayer_rule_\m/
i once sneezed and a mushed up chip flew out my nose
needless to say i immediatly ate it
#13
Biggest load of crap i've ever heard. What a waste of a minute. Sora 01 pretty much summed it up.

Pics or it didnt happen indeed!

EDIT: He sounded serious :P
#15
Did you guys seriously not know that this was a joke?


Jesus Christ.
The pit is the
dumbest
place
ever.
My style is impetuous.
My defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious.
I want your heart.
I want to eat your children.

-Mike Tyson
#16
Open up your minds, it was only a joke.
Why are we so wicked indecisive
Let's hit the streets with toy explosives
And let's enjoy what we have
#18
Quote by Sora 01


LMFAO I love that pic, it makes my day every time i see it thanks Sora
Quote by SharpSpoon
I think I can safely say I would still bang her knowing this information.


Lmao ^

Grundy0 > Cancer!
#20
delicious copypasta is delicious!

DO WANT!
ALWAYS

WANNA BE WITH YOU,
MAKE BELIEV
E WITH YOU,
AND L
IVE IN HARMONY, HARMONY,



OH, LOOVE!
#23
Quote by JC13
haha. That was great. I've seen a version like this where it started going like this, but after she takes off her panties, she reveals she has a wang, puts the condom on, and chases the kid.


#25
lol @ k1rk
[img]http://img300.imageshack.us/img300/3760/356h356h365pc1.png[/img]
Die Ruhe vor dem Sturm.
#28
First time I bought condoms I was 13. No, I wasn't going to have sex, I was immature and thought it was funny.
What I was confused about was why the lady behind the counter seemed so pissed off - she gave me a death stare every time I bought some (It was funny the first time, why wouldn't it be the next ten?). I figured, since I'd seen her in church, she was just opposed to me having sex before marriage.

And then I realized everytime I bought them I was with the same friend. The same male friend.
Quote by Tire Me.
Raping her in front of other people would be morally wrong.

Quote by Bubbles516
wtf290 uses make bubbles feel like crap
Its super effective!
#30
I'm going to post this on /b/ if no one minds.
ALWAYS

WANNA BE WITH YOU,
MAKE BELIEV
E WITH YOU,
AND L
IVE IN HARMONY, HARMONY,



OH, LOOVE!
#32
Quote by wtf290

And then I realized everytime I bought them I was with the same friend. The same male friend.



Oh... wait...



Quote by demoniacfashion
Is there any black people on UG?
I don't think a lot of black people play guitar anymore.

Quote by Oasis-fanatic
they all kinda went extinct after hendrix really.


Needless to say, I lol'ed.

Quote by human panda
Appart from being on UG or wanking, thats what i mostly do
#33
yeah, sure.
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
making a windows machine look like a mac is like putting lipstick on a pig.


~We Rock Out With Our Cocks Out!: UG Naked Club.~
#34
eh, it was ok.
Quote by lespaul#1
Indie stands for Industrial I think, like Marilyn Manson.

Ibanez RG2EX2 (Dimarzio Breed in bridge)
Epiphone Les Paul 100
Laney LV300T
Line 6 Toneport GX

The Falling Object Model
#35
I lol'd.
Quote by Atomic_Assault
lololololol that was epic andyd93. you just made my day


PROUD EVERTONIAN
#36
Quote by Kingyem0c0re


Oh... wait...




clever!
Quote by markr17
go eat a hermanpherdite.
#37
Quote by SealCubMassacre

She looked at me with a bit of a frown. "Did you put that condom on?"
she asked. I said, "I sure did," and held up my thumb to show her.

She fainted.


As if the story wasn't BS enough, if you didn't get the joke at this point you = tard.
#38
Quote by JC13
Odds are, that's where it came from.


Is it odd that JC's Avatar is hypnotizing me, I wanna look away but I just cant
Quote by SharpSpoon
I think I can safely say I would still bang her knowing this information.


Lmao ^

Grundy0 > Cancer!
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