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Look around the room youre in right now. Imagine if a stranger broke into that same room and you only had 5 seconds to grab something in that room to fight him off with. What would it be?

Im home alone and it seemed like someone was just trying to break in. Then the dogs started barking and one of them pissed on the floor >.< Haha anyway yea... im paranoid... Anyway the first thing that i grabbed was a little pair of elementary school scissors haha. Go!
Quote by gu1t4rh3r0
One of my friends said to the principle once,
"NO! The voices tell me not to talk to you!" *Runs away on all fours*
The principle eventually caught up to him and gave him a drug test.
My first instinct would tell him to GTFO not hurt him
I ask the pit for help.

Quote by Vermintide
I love getting hit in the balls.

Sometimes, I masturbate while imagining my girlfriend is ramming her knee up into my precious orbs. It turns me on so much.

Actually, that's not true. I don't have a girlfriend
my balls...
Quote by Pink_Floyd89
Hey baby, is that a mirror in your pocket or am I stabbing you repeatedly in the face?

The Slick Fingers of the Bass Malitia, PM IndieMetalHead to join

You don't own shit.
My cock.

Then a stapler, conveniently placed right here beside me.

Edit: A stapler for throwing, not for my cock.



Just thought I'd clarify that.
Last edited by C O B H C at Feb 19, 2008,
My 12 gauge.... its In my closet.
Last edited by tb89 at Feb 19, 2008,
If I had 5 seconds, I'd have to throw my laptop at him then grab the knife that's next to me.

If I had 30 seconds or so I'd have my rifle, and I've had to wield it before.
Survivor of the St. John's Lockdown
Quote by SG thrasher

The thread-starter is a legend.
Seriously, who thinks "Shit, i'm gonna die, BRB, Ima' tell UG."?

Quote by The_Paranoia

Congratz man, you are a true, American Hero.
Go Schneiderman!

Gun Facts: Educate Yourself
My knife. I have a 30-06 in my room, but no ammo.
I can honestly say I have really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like.

I don't always post on UG, but when I do, I post in the Pit. Stay thirsty my friends.
My dog. He is humongous and a badass. But, seriously, nearest by me, the lamp. I just moved so I don't have my baseball bat moved over yet... On second thought, the umbrella stand thing. That looks like it would hurt.

Co-Founder of The Weakerthans Fan Club
PM me or TechnicolorBoy to join.

My music --> Check it out!
My enchanted baseball bat, which adds +5 to my Blunt Weapons skill.
Quote by hug a llama
You put parentheses in parentheses. I...I...I think I love you.

Quote by Vos
THANK YOU! You're my hero!
My leg.
When the music's over, turn out the lights.

Quote by pencap
i fingerd my girl the other day she got so wet nearly my entier hand was soked after that i ate her up, she blacked out it was awesome
I'd grab my Axe and murder him.

But my room is just a bed, nightstand, guitar, so not much else...
my uvula and puke all over him while i sucker punch him
My live set-up:
72 Tele Custom
TC Electronics Polytune
MXR Dynacomp
deviever Shoe Gazer
Way Huge Red Llama Clone
Effector13 Soda Meiser
Vintage Proco Rat
DOD Buzzbox
Dwarfcraft Robot Devil
EA Tremolo
Lovepedal Pickle Vibe
Traynor YBA-2B
The only weapon like things I have are a spoon, a set of dumb bells and a fake light saber.

I have big arms though, so unless he had a gun or a knife I'd punch him in the head. repeatedly.
Quote by epishredder
i would pull down my pants and star jacking it and jizz on him

in 5 seconds??? dude i would get that checked out...

but i would either grab my cat is shes real close to me, if not.... my dead *sharp edges* gotta love em eh?
In reality, I would have to go with either my skateboard, lacrosse stick, or a pair of wire cutters.
Quote by hug a llama
You put parentheses in parentheses. I...I...I think I love you.

Quote by Vos
THANK YOU! You're my hero!
unfortunately, the only thing I could grab that could possibly hurt him would be my Squier, Id grab it by the neck and show that burglar how to play guitar with his teeth :P
Bow and arrow

Or perhaps my guitar that'd probably hurt
i dont need to pick up anything with my hat of wisdom on, which gives me +99999999 magic points so i can use my spells
Quote by cakeandpiemofo
Quote by tuwyci
why are metal musicians prone to fatness?
Cause there music is heavy.

Writing music is hard D:
A phone to call the police. Then I would shit strategically in front of the door, so when he runs into the house he slips in my poo and falls to the ground in a frantic "OMG, I got poo on me!!" kind of frenzy. Then I may even urinate on his face while he is on the ground. Perhaps even wipe my poo encrusted arse on his nose.

Either way, who ever breaks into my house isnt going to be a very happy camper.
I'd start masturbating...Who in their right mind could assault/kill/kidnap someone masturbating?
Quote by LPDave
and my mom then told me to masturbate more.

Quote by Toastbot

Big burly men grunting without shirts on pretty much summed up my childhood.

Quote by The Leader
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do more look like?
i'd grab one of meh jacksons and stab him with the headstock. PWNT
Godin Velocity w/ Schaller locking tuners
Ibanez RG7321 w/ Dimarzio Crunchlab & Liquifire
Seagull Coastline S6 Burst GT QI
Random Ibanez Bass

Blackstar HT-5 Head
Avatar Contemporary 212 Cab
Peavey Valveking 112
I have a big ass screwdriver right next to me with a very sharp Phillips head on it.
Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way
the phone, cops have guns and training, i dont.
Acoustic Percussion Guitar Player
Quote by InvaderTSN
I can only poop during full moons.
Quote by shut_up_n00b
I'd start masturbating...Who in their right mind could assault/kill/kidnap someone masturbating?

This smells like a quote I've seen in someone else's sig before.
i'm gonna have to say my squier strat... i couldn't bear to wield my bass unless it was absolutely necessary.
Actually, i think i would throw my computer monitor at him.
Quote by WyvernOmega

TL;DR: Saw a girl at Wal-Mart, she started feeling me up, I jizzed in my pants.

Shit, I'm so pathetic.

[quote="'[BurnTheDusk"]']I agree, tone does sound better the closer your genitals are to the ground.