#1
I redid this song, and added some lyrics.

I typed up the lyrics in an AT&T lyrics thing. You just type in the words, and it will speak the lyrics for you. One of them is a cool British accent. I converted them to a WAV file and added them to the song.

I was happy with the solo at the end, because I haven't been practicing improvisation for too long. It was one of the better ones I've done in a while, and I liked the first take so much that I decided to keep it.

Electric Guitars were done with Amplitube 2 on an Epiphone Les Paul Standard. Acoustic is some old Ibanez. Drums were one of the real drum types on Band in a Box. Actually the vocals had Amplitube running too. They sounded cool running through an amp simulator, especially with the type of reverb they had. I had amplitube running about 5 different versions up at one time; and my processor is pretty crappy, so near the end of editing it was taking about 5 minutes to do each step. It was so slow.

As always, C4C.

Anyway, tell me what you think.

http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/lemonsquares42/


Lyrics:

Blackberry jam.
I love that blackberry Jam
Eating it every day.
That blackberry Jam.

Mix the blackberries with some sugar.
Now that's the ticket.
Oh.
Boil the jam for two minutes.
Boil the jam. Now thats the ticket.

I love to squish those blackberries between my fingers.
Watch them as they bleed.
I wish I could have one more bite.
Bite the blackberries.
Except Charles.
I will steal twelve of his when he isn't looking.
He never looks at his blackberries.

Are you done crushing the blackberries?
Rinse them all.
Once you've added the cyanide, gently pour in the crushed blackberries.
Oh.
Forget that last step.
Bring it to a boil.

Enjoy.
Last edited by lemonsquares42 at Feb 19, 2008,
#2
First off - I like your style - not easily categorized - just cool.

Those vocals are back there so much I can't really hear them - but the problem is basically that I can't crank it now - my kids are sleeping in the next room. But the lead tone and outtro solo was delicious. I dug the purposeful phrasing with that descending rhythm part - and the sustain/wah tone... nice! Sweet ending!
#3
...I think I'll give this one a listen tomorrow when I can crank it.

I've got a seedless/thornless blackberry bush in my yard... can't wait until it starts producing again. yum!
#4
Hey dude,
First off id like to say thanks for the comment you gave on my song, seeing as your not into metal and you gave it a chance and actually gave me some good constructive crit, i totally appreciate it. Thats rare these days.
Now onto your song "Blackberry Jam".
Sweeet grooves. I immediatley fell into the guitars. My heads still bobbin. I really liked the tone of the guitars as well. It was very smooth, and the playing was excellent. After listening to that i can understand what you meant by the "harsh" tone on my tune.
Anyways, thanks again for the crit.
Keep up the good work here and hit me back if you ever want me to give a listen to any other songs.
-Jerod
#5
Thanks for the crit, it was very helpful.

Anyway, the way you did the vocals fits so well with the song. It was actually very interesting. The solo is really good, good playing and good feel. The whole thing was very unique but in a good way. It had a great feel to it, and both the vocals and the solo did a good job complimenting that feel. I'm listening to it for the second time now. Seriously, this is kick ass. Nice job!

Last edited by shortyafter at Feb 20, 2008,
#6
thx for the crit on mine.

And that is a really cool song i like what you did with it, i think it woulda been cool if you added a couple of little licks in between the talking of the lyrics that woulda been cool but other then that great outro lead and good rhythgms and cool structure
MY Setup
carvin v3 full stack 100 watt all tube power
a 1981 carvin (m-22 pickup) great tone
Rack Setup
carvin compressor
carvin fx 2
BBE Sonic Maximizer
Rocktron Noise Gate
furman power conditioner
#7
Just saw your post about editing this track, and it sounds absolutely excellent Good recording, too.
#8
This was very interesting. The spoken vocals were an excellent idea and gave an original touch to the track. The actual lyrics were great too. When it comes to the instrumental side, however, I would've loved to hear a bit more (dynamic/rhythmic) variation in the drums and they could've been a bit higher in the mix as well. I'm liking the open chords you're using here and the solo was excellent! All in all, good job! Keep it up!
#9
I want to really like this, but I only kind of like it. The vocal thing was cool, but since there is no actual melody associated with those parts, you really just have two simple chord progressions and that is all there is to the music, except at the end when you solo. So I agree with the person who said maybe it would have been cool if there were more guitar licks other than what's at the end. Some melodic component to the song, because this is essentially an instrumental track.
#10
wow i love this track! i listened to the previous version the other day and i already really liked it but with the way you did the vocals it sounds even better! i would never have thought of putting spoken word over the top of what you have but now that i have heard it i cant think of any different way to do it! there is a little part of my brain that keeps reminding me of william shatner doing a spoken word version of the real slim shady from futurama though....

and if you wouldnt mind you could crit my cover of my hero on my profile
Guitars-
krozka-sharpe raider session 'revo'
ibanez s520ex with SD TB-10 full shred bridge
ibanez sz520qm
epiphone les paul custom
epiphone EJ200

Amp-
Orange tiny terror with PPC112 cab
#12
Very interesting song you have here. I love the guitar work... the beat was ok. The vocals are just whacked out. I think they would be better if they were even further back to the point where you can barely figure out what they're saying. This way my attention will focus on the music.

Check mine out? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=792782
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#13
The solo was really nice. The drums were a little sterile, but that's to be expected from digital drum beats.
What I Play
70% classic rock, 20% metal, 10% blues

Guitar
Fender Highway One Stratocaster - SSS

Amplifier
Line 6 Spider III 15

Pedals
Vox V-847A Wah
#14
That is ludicrously cool. I mean seriously. The chord progression reminds me of a Coldplay song until the electric comes in.

From then its a bit radiohead-ish.

The solo is excellent, improv is the future, and very melodic but as it seems to be first takes are the best.

I would listen to this over and over again.

9/10

Crit mine if you get the chance

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=793811
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Fender Strat Mex (Modded)
Toadwords Leo Jr
Vox Wah V847
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Boss DD-20
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Orange Tiny Terror(ist)


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