#1
I basically just wrote this over the course of twenty minutes...I don't know where it came from. It's kinda more of an emotional song, and I've love to hear what I should change, I wanna roll with this one.

C4C : D


Burial for the Unknown



(Verse1 )And you rest in pieces
As we rot on this earth
You can finally sleep
While we suffer here

(Prechorus 1)You could not be forgotten
You were never known
Still we bury you (bury you, bury you) (The parenthesized "bury you"s are echo's)

(Chorus)Burial for the unknown.
Only in death does he have a home.
On his death bed now we know.
Where we went wrong, and why we can't change it!

(Versre 2)You aren't in our prayers.
Yet your spirit lingers
We can feel that you're there
We don't know who you are!

(Pre-chorus 2)You're the nightmare that haunts us all.
You're the sickness.
The weakness.
The fear
And that DOWNFALL!

(Chorus 2)Burial for the unknown.
Only in death does he have a home.
On his death be-ed now we know.
Where we went wrong, and why we can't change it!

(Breakdown)Here lies the hopes and dreams of all.
Here lies where we all went wrong.
Here lies the cure to this sickness.
Here lies your soul, NOW BURY IT!


(Chorus3)Burial for the unknown.
Only in death does he have a home.
On his death be-ed now we know.
Where we went wrong, and why we can't change it!


The whole song will kinda be screamed, not quite screamo, but spoken in an almost desperate tone. The breakdown will kinda be spoken, building volume to where the last line is screamed.

Critiques por favor. C4C, remember!
#2
With the description of how the song will sound, it reminds me of mewithoutYou, who are great, so that's a good thing. I don't think I could have anything to add to this, but I have to say I'm kinda excited to hear this put to music.

And if you would, could you take a look at mine?

Fiore
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