#1
Ok this is what's going on...

Myy parents are out with family friends, they'll be back any minute and I need your help.

Here's some background info:

I volunteer on my sisters softball team (I'm 16 the girls are 15)

So whatever, I met this girl on the team, Allison and we're going out for awhile. We have a lot in common and I help her with her homework and ****. I helped her on her english essay and she still got a D. Whatever, the teachers a prick...anyways

She came over an hour ago and I really wanted to lose my virginity so i ask her to have sex

she's all "no, no, i can't do it ,that wouldn't be right" i told her not to worry and I'll be done in 10 seconds, plus i'll give you 2 N64 games if you say yes

so i give her diddy kong racing and ken griffey jr. baseball and then she goes to my room. She was really confused and a bit scared

Then I think to myself...I need lube. I heard all my friends saying you needed to lube the clit or it won't fit right

so obviously i have no lube but i really wanna get laid. So I ran to my fridge, got a stick of butter and I put it in the microwave to melt for 8 minutes. then i put it in a glass and poured it on her cooch. Now she's crying saying I burned it. Wtf?

I don't know what to do, my parents will be home any minute now and she's crying in my bathroom, you guys are really smart, will someone please help me?


Any idea how to shut her up? Do I give her another N64 game?
Well, the clock says it's time to close now
I guess I'd better go now
I'd really like to stay here all night.
#4
Quote by marktuazon
old post is old

+1
last.fm
Quote by rockhard182
*opens happytimeharrys head* *finds nothing*

what a ripoff

Member #18 of the "Claudio Sanchez is God" Club. PM stepco12345 to join!
#6
Mmmm copypasta in a light reposte' sauce.
Is it a bad thing if one of your testicles is larger then the other two?
#7
i lol'd
Quote by AAAAAAAAAARGH
Gold/Silver/Crystal.

Simply because I could breed the pokemon, and act out my sick sexual fantasies between Dittos and Chanseys.


Quote by bequickorbedead
She had sex..with my...AIDS?
#9
Pathetic attempt at stealing another Thread post.
When you saw me sleeping
thought I was dreaming
of you...


I didn't tell you
That the only dream
Is Valium for me
#10
fail everyones seen it
Quote by saxaxe
YESI love you.


Quote by Wulphy
Ever stuck their finger in their ass, just to see what it was like? I did


Quote by thewho65
My sister has a big ass
#11
Wtf

*reported*
Quote by funkdaddyfresh
justin, that was easily the most inspiring, helpful piece of advice anyone has ever given me in regards to my musical pursuits.


Screaming Help