#1
Slower song, acoustic with light finger picking. Possibly will write some piano for it later. Crit for Crit as always, thanks.

The Street Lights

i feel like i am waiting
i'm waiting for a moment
a moment to define
a moment in my life
that's worthy of a poem
i'm sifting through the prose
and as the sands fall
through my hands on
to the concrete floor
the sound becomes my door
and nothing else is left
except for me and you
and the sound of insects
underneath the august moon
we walk the sidewalk to the store
a quiet night was so much more
when you stopped and asked why
couldn't the street lights
give way to the stars
and we could dance between the cars
only you and i
beneath a gentle sky
you always had a way of taking
nothing and making
something so much more
something that's so pure
and as i hold your hand
like it's something sacred, i find that you're my grain of sand
my moment in life
my poem to write
it was always you
under that august moon
and although the day has come
our nights can shade the sun
you will always be
there with me
a quiet night
an empty street
flooded with your light
#2
for some weird reason this reminds me of unchained melody...
something to do with the way the whole thing is rhymed, but i can't place my finger on it...
Yamaha ERG 121
Yamaha F370TBS
Yamaha GA-10

NOOB KIT FTW

-------------------------

Lyrical Insanity:

Chasing Shadows
#3
haha well i wish it reminded me of one of the greatest songs in the history of man...but alas it is what it is
#4
Awesome! I love how you can visualize whats happening and everything! The only thing i would change is "the sound becomes my door" its a little forced with the rhyming.

But i really really like this, Thanks for the crit btw! I'll crit more of yours later!
#5
i feel like i am waiting
i'm waiting for a moment
a moment to define
a moment in my life
that's worthy of a poem

brilliant!

the rest is really good too.
those are just my favorite lines.
the rest of the poem isnt far behind.
i dont have any suggestions for this.
the lyrics are great.