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#1
as promised, here is my creative writing assignment for english. when i write, i don't do rough drafts or revisions or anything, it's just not my style. i end up over-revising stuff and ruining it if i do, so i just plough through it once, and then that's it.

this is my opinion of the Pit.


Once upon a time, there was a website called ultimate-guitar.com, or UG. The website offered a great largesse of guitar music, articles, lessons, and reviews on guitars, amps, and other music-related objects, and was showered with praise and exultation by many guitarists. However, if one ventured into the murky depths of the forums on UG, they would very likely come across one of the most invidious message boards on the internet: The Pit.

Most message boards have a “Miscellaneous” forum, and on UG, it was called the Pit. The members who regularly visited the Pit were some of the most nefarious, vile scum to inhabit the internet, and were extremely intransigent to anyone who stood in their way. Many a young, aspiring guitarist came to the Pit looking for help and encouragement in their playing, only to become distraught and give up their dreams forever after receiving animadversion, being called “n00bs”, and getting “flamed” by the Pit. This flaming was usually comical, seeing as how most of the members in the Pit themselves were not very good at guitar, and spent all of their time playing Pokemon video games and looking at hentai.

The filth in the Pit also delighted in posting many disturbing, violent, and pornographic pictures, although they would be banned by the “Mods”, whose carping and strict coherency to the rules made the Pit similar to Soviet Russia. Although pornographic and violent pictures were not allowed, the Pit members’ insatiable and avid need for disturbing media could not be eschewed, and even the Mods would find pleasure in the mockery of mentally handicapped people, Jews, homosexuals, blind people and other cripples, African-Americans, harlequin babies, women, and anyone else for whom they could find a reason to make fun of. Committing a sacrilege against any religion was not uncommon.

Anyone who attempted to accost the members of the Pit for their misdeeds was summarily decried, and any attempt to defend oneself against the Pit was pejorative. Any evidence against them, no matter how tenable or clearly evinced, was rejected. The Pit’s myopic view of their critics was often comical, seeing as how nothing they did was original. At best, the Pit was just a pathetic, feckless emulation of /b/, the Miscellaneous forum of 4chan.com, who were far worse than the Pit. However, the members of /b/ had one thing the Pit lacked: originality. Anything they did, from saying “lawl” or “leet” to the posting of lolcat pictures, was simply arrogated from /b/ or other forums. Of course, they would dissemble such trends as their own, which was not unwonted for such simple-minded vermin. The only thing that they ever seemed to have accomplished themselves was a fund to buy an underground missile base in Washington, which they hoped to acquire to use as a haven for the imminent zombie apocalypse.

In retrospect, I’m assuming that you’re expecting me to say that’s the end of the story, but in reality, it is far from the end. The Pit is real, thriving and gaining more and more members every day, and will not temporize in saying that I am proud to be one of them.


so?
#3
Doing school work about a forum on the Internet will totally get you laid.
two and a half men.
#4
heh, nice

but you made me lose the game while i was typing this comment you horrible, horrible person
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#5
That is absolutely amazing.
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Green, because a vest has no sleeves.

Can't we all just get a bong?
#7
wow, sounds good, u have a pretty good vocab (or thesuarus, one of the two)

Nice work
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Quote by Gaz_m2k5
This is almost as stupid as when someone thought there might be a UG warehouse where all the tabs are stored.



July 8th, 2007 @ Wembley - Best day ever
#8
This should be Stickied.
Quote by deathbat831
.........oh wow.
Eddy 372, im nominating you badass of UG
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I believe thats the best looking Explorer I've ever seen, I did think they were all ugly until i seen that one Eddy372 good choice.

#9
Oh ****-why would you tell them about the missile base!? Now we have to move it!

I'm thinking...Alaska.
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Its super effective!
#10
That's an essay? To be handed in to school? Seriously?
And you started it with "Once upon a time..."? You must be asking to be banne-... failed.

Otherwise, haha well done.

EDIT: Creative writing. Right, gotcha.

Anyway, I l'ed-ol many a time.
Last edited by Jaymz2K at Feb 20, 2008,
#11
I liked it man.
Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way
#15
Even though you're so far off it's not even funny, I'd have to say it was well-written. You big homosexual, black woman.
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#18
Maybe your teacher will come and visit the Pit now.


We can call her a n00b and flame her with various memes.

Lulz will be had by all.
Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.

When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.


-Jimi Hendrix-

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#19
it seems like you used a thesaurus too much. hey, maybe you do speak like that but when i read it, it just seemed like you kept trying to figure out new words to throw in when others would do. now, i'm not saying its a bad thing to expand and explore your vocabulary. but if it is an english assignment your teacher will not be impressed. so you're probably better off sticking to words that you use more often to really get your point across. of course, unless those are all words that are a valid, and common part of your vocabulary.
#21
Eh...

I'd turn it in/recite it in front of class. Just so I could make everyone curious enough to go to 4chan/here for themselves, and be pissed about it.
When you saw me sleeping
thought I was dreaming
of you...


I didn't tell you
That the only dream
Is Valium for me
#22
Quote by frottage
most of the members in the Pit themselves were not very good at guitar, and spent all of their time playing Pokemon video games and looking at hentai.

Not true ...

<_<
>_>

Quote by frottage
The Pit’s myopic view of their critics was often comical, seeing as how nothing they did was original. At best, the Pit was just a pathetic, feckless emulation of /b/, the Miscellaneous forum of 4chan.com, who were far worse than the Pit. However, the members of /b/ had one thing the Pit lacked: originality.

True
#23
Great job...I loved it...but what will a teacher who has no idea about the pit think..

I really liked the part

This flaming was usually comical, seeing as how most of the members in the Pit themselves were not very good at guitar, and spent all of their time playing Pokemon video games and looking at hentai.
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#24
Quote by frottage
Once upon a time


I stopped reading there.


Actually, I did read it, and it was very good. +1 to frottage.
Write your own lyrics or poetry? Post them HERE for a crit.
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#25
Quote by jay_d_
it seems like you used a thesaurus too much. hey, maybe you do speak like that but when i read it, it just seemed like you kept trying to figure out new words to throw in when others would do. now, i'm not saying its a bad thing to expand and explore your vocabulary. but if it is an english assignment your teacher will not be impressed. so you're probably better off sticking to words that you use more often to really get your point across. of course, unless those are all words that are a valid, and common part of your vocabulary.

they were vocab words that i was required to include.
not sure if i included that. if not, my mistake.
#28
Quote by frottage
they were vocab words that i was required to include.
not sure if i included that. if not, my mistake.


ah, i'm glad you cleared that up for me. it makes sense now.
#30
Quote by jakemac
Can I blog this on my profile please.

go ahead. holy trout, i didn't think people would actually like it this much.
#32
I laughed....cried....and then shat myself???
Pretty good....if only you put your work towards MY classwork i might not have an F
Marijuana is not a drug! its simply a plant
#33
Quote by Cameronrobson
Doing school work about a forum on the Internet will totally get you laid.


....by the teacher?
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I love taking a nice dip of some horse shit, so good.
#34
Quote by Gee-tar-eist
I laughed....cried....and then shat myself???
Pretty good....if only you put your work towards MY classwork i might not have an F


Or if you tried in school?
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#35
The essay is ok, but a tip: adding some words you find in a thesaurus doesnt make you look smarter. Ex. "and will not temporize." wtf does this mean?

*Edit* didnt see previous post, disregard
Last edited by BackTothe101 at Feb 20, 2008,
#36
Quote by wtf290
Oh ****-why would you tell them about the missile base!? Now we have to move it!

I'm thinking...Alaska.



McLovin is my hero!

It's not the going that the pit cares about.
It's the coming.
#37
Quote by brandon369852
Or if you tried in school?



True...
But who wants to try in highschool anymore???
Marijuana is not a drug! its simply a plant
#38
Quote by Gee-tar-eist
True...
But who wants to try in highschool anymore???


People who want to accomplish something in life.
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