"does this rag smell like chloroform"
and when shes trying to tell you shes heard it and its not funny you stab her in the face and rape her in the back of your truck
sick enough for you?
Vikings? What Vikings? We are but poor, simple farmers. The village was burning when we got here, and the people must have slain themselves.
nice shoes... wanna fu ck?
Fender Hot Rod Deville 2x12
Custom Built Guitar (made it myself)
PRS SE Soapbar II Maple
Fender Stratacoustic (Stolen! )
Digitech RP200
Boss MT-2
Roland Microcube
I like my stuff!
You -"Hey girl, did it hurt?"


You- "When you fell from heaven *pause* because you apparently landed on your face."

She'll never see THAT coming!
I don't know about it being sick and disgusting, but this is honestly how I got my girlfriend.

"Hi my name is _______, I like peanut butter. Wanna f*ck?"

I had a ton of them, but it got deleted, so that's it for now.
"hey baby why dont you type in my search bar",

but seriously i love these threads.

me "oh my god whats wrong with you some call 911"
girl "huh what"
several minutes later and hundreds of questions later
me "do you have interenal bleeding"
girl "i dont know" (in freaked out tone)
girl "why?"
me "cause baby you just fell from heaven!"
The most memorable one I've heard lately is "If your right leg is Christmas and your left leg is Thanksgiving, would it be alright if I visit between the holidays."
you-"wanna ****?
girl-"im on the rag" (yeah she just said yes... kinda)
you-"well your ass aint bleedin"
is your dad a hamburgler? Cause it looks like he stuffed two huge hams down the back of your pants
Hey babye you a telemarketer?

Girl: lemme guess? because you wanna buy my heart?

Nice searchbar. Wanna ****?
Quote by doggy_hat
This chick that looked like shrek ****ed me while I was passed out on xanax. I screamed when I woke up.
"how much for an Alaskan pipeline?"

you "did it hurt"

girl "what"

you "did it hurt when that horse sh*t on your face"

you "did it hurt"

girl "what"

you "did it hurt when you had that abortion"

"is that a banana in your pocket because I'd like to shove it up your ***."
"Swords, nature's hell sticks."- Trip Fisk