#1
Hey guys,

This is my newest song I have written today. I think it sounds a little bit like RHCP and Tyrone Wells combined. Not to compare myself, just similar stuff going on. I would really appreciate crits, I really like this song though.

Jason

P.S- Ill crit whatever you want

its in my profile
Last edited by |2eM!x at Feb 21, 2008,
#2
I won't lie, I totally ignored the lyrics. Alt rock and RHCP kinda stuff aren't really my forte. The chord progression is pretty good, perhaps a bit redundant by the end of it all, but it's good. I'm the kind of person that has extreme ADD with music and likes fast tempos and lots of lead guitar work, so it makes sense that I got a bit bored. From what I've heard of the genre though, it's pretty normal/ good sounding.

here's the kind of stuff I write: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=794054
#3
I can see that. I like the melodic, interesting chord progressions over the shred. Im really interested in cool chords so I guess thats why. Thanks though.
#4
nice work man really liked the chords and the strings with the heavy reverb (at least thats what it sounded like) in the background. Your vocals are really good too, they convey emotion pretty well the only thing i would suggest is something to break the cycle at some point in the middle. i know you change chords around 2 minutes in which is a change but i mean maybe a diff instrument in there? just for some diversity
any crit would be appreciated, songs on my profile
Guitars-
krozka-sharpe raider session 'revo'
ibanez s520ex with SD TB-10 full shred bridge
ibanez sz520qm
epiphone les paul custom
epiphone EJ200

Amp-
Orange tiny terror with PPC112 cab
#5
you had a good voice too it, and pretty cool chord progression, but it seemed to be lacking alot in it overall. the rhythm seemed to get very redundant, and dynamics werent used too efficiently. defenitly needs something to it to add some interesting contrast between sections, just seemed to go on without any real feel. add on to that and maybe repost
dude, what about an actual solo in death metal instead of that poof from linkin park. Think of Pulse of the Maggots - Bed Of Razors


#1 MEMEBER OF THE OFFICIAL THRASH METAL FAN CLUB (PM URE FAV BANDS TO ME TO JOIN)
#6
Quote by The2abraxis
you had a good voice too it, and pretty cool chord progression, but it seemed to be lacking alot in it overall. the rhythm seemed to get very redundant, and dynamics werent used too efficiently. defenitly needs something to it to add some interesting contrast between sections, just seemed to go on without any real feel. add on to that and maybe repost


Thanks for that. Any like tangible solutions? Because I totally understand, and see what your talking about. However, what can I do with just an acoustic guitar? I'm not good with this effects program, would figuring out that help? I usually just use a bit of reverb or phaser on an acoustic and post it.

Thanks again, I just don't exactly know how I should go about fixing it!
#7
do u hvae drums or something?? i thought a very nice touch would be in a chorus type part, throw in some tamborine or something. maybe try something with the acoustic as well, like a different strum pattern (hitting some notes, muting some others), playing some chords with some quick leads in the middle, stuff like that maybe?
dude, what about an actual solo in death metal instead of that poof from linkin park. Think of Pulse of the Maggots - Bed Of Razors


#1 MEMEBER OF THE OFFICIAL THRASH METAL FAN CLUB (PM URE FAV BANDS TO ME TO JOIN)
#8
Its quite a nice little ditty that could do with a fuller arrangement on it e.g. a second guitar or some bass and drums.

Interesting chords going on and a nice strum pattern but i feel its needs something to break it up a little.

Your voice is quite cool and works well with this type of song.

Overall 6/10
Fender P Bass Mex

Guitar Set Up
Fender Strat Mex (Modded)
Toadwords Leo Jr
Vox Wah V847
Electro Harmonix LBP-1
Line 6 FM4
Boss DD-20
TC Electronic Tuner
Orange Tiny Terror(ist)


Check out my band
www.asparagusnow.com