I have an english story due tomorrow. It has to be at least 2 pages minimum, in 3rd person, and include 3 stereotypes. I wanted it to have a funny approach to it, and i wanted to hear, yes, what the pit thinks i should do about my dilemma. I can't believe i'm asking the pit about homework the night before its due, but anyway, fire away.

Thanks in advance.
like black sterotypes? that's slightly racist
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The influence of fried chicken on the African American culture
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black people + chicken
Koreans + videogames
Jews + Money/noses

Those are all perfect.

Just incorporate Chinese with karate and you are set.

Or you could do the French and being gay.
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like black sterotypes? that's slightly racist

no more along the lines of emo kids, dumb, Larry-the-cable-guy-esque truckers, short, wheezy nerdy kids with glasses the size of a bus' headlights, etc.

P.s.- African Americans love fried chicken too? I thought it was just the Innu up here in labrador that loved it so much. Mary brown's and budweiser, they pratically live of those.

P.p.s.-yes, the above is slightly racist.
Last edited by Pat_s1t at Feb 21, 2008,
Yeah you better take a HUGE satire stance, otherwise you'll sound ultra-mega-racist, which is just under John Rocker-racist. Careful where ye toes are on this one.
ooh yeah avoid black jokes, there are a lot of em
and jew jokes- they've taken a lot of **** over the past 3000 years
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Just do a two page englishman/irishman/scotsman joke.

Like this one:

an englishman an irishman and a scot get captured in the jungle by savages.

They send each of the three into the jungle and tell them to bring back a fruit.

all three return with their fruit.

The scotsman comes back with some cherries.

the cheif asks him "death! or mau mau?"

the scotsman says "ehhhh, mau mau?"

they take the cherries from him and stuff them up his arse.

The irishman has a banana.

the cheif asks him "death! or mau may?"

the irishman looks at his banana and says, "ok, I'll take mau mau"

so they take his banana and stuff it up his arse.

next is the englishman, he's got a pinapple

"no need to ask" says the englishman. "I'll take death, no way am I taking a pinapple up my arse"

"DEATH!" the cheif roars! "DEATH BY MAU MAU!"
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black people + chicken
Koreans + videogames
Jews + Money/noses

That all guitarists are 1) Dropout metal kids, 2) Stoner hippy kids, or 3) Douchebags who play "Hey there Delilah/Wonderwall" ad naseum.

Or the stereotype that all threads involving the intarweb doing your homework for you = fail
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Steryotypes you say???

Here is the basic plot line.

The Asian driver crashes into the kitchen wall of a house and hits the woman inside. At the hospital the woman is patched up by a team of Indian doctors. To fix the house she called some white males. They fixed the house up nice, but left an awful mess. This looks like a job for the Mexicans.

3rd person narrator:

An old raspy voiced black guy who has to take a break during the story telling to go eat some cornbread and fried chicken.
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Brilliant observation.

Tom was a happy man, living an ordinary life. Tom was a single man residing in the city of Toronto, Ontario. Tom’s life was not very exciting though; in fact some people may say Tom lived a very boring life. When Tom would go to Tim Hortons he would slip one of the heat protective wraps on his coffee. When Tom drove his car he wore his seat belt, and when he cut things he cut away from his body not towards him self.

One Friday night though something happened that would change his life forever. Like every Friday night Tom would make a coffee; he liked his coffee without sugar or cream. This Friday night though while making his coffee someone knocked on his door. This was strange though because Tom didn't have a door, for he was a bum, in fact Tom had never made a coffee in his life, and he always went to Tim Hortons. Despite all this Tom went to answer the door, a door belonging to a house he had never, in his entire 28 years of living, had ever entered. When he opened the door he was face to face with a man who was very short, so Tom wasn't exactly face to face with him, in fact he was more face to waste with him. Ignoring this Tom looked down, and the short man looked up and said

"Are you Ryan Johnson?"

Tom looked at the man for a moment then answered "no"

The short man then smiled and replied loudly, “Excellent, now please make way for it is very cold outside"

This was very true, for outside it was 15 below zero. Tom was very puzzled though not only had he no clue where he was but there was a very short man, who Tom didn't recall ever seeing before, inviting himself into his house. Normally Tom wouldn’t get himself into situations like this, in fact he had never gotten him self into a situation like this, and he was now beginning to get extremely worried. Even so Tom managed to stay calm and turned around to face the small man who was now beginning to place his snow covered coat onto one of the many metal hooks placed a few feet down the hall. The short man was having trouble reaching the hooks though, so Tom walked over, took the coat and placed it on the second hook, for a coat, which Tom guessed was his own, was hanging on the first hook.

“Thank you” grumbled the small man, and then looking up smiled again, his white teeth gleaming, and said, “So, you’re probably wondering, what I like put in my coffee”.
The man then took off his boots and strode to the kitchen. Tom was left staring after the man whom he knew nothing about, not even what he would like in his coffee. Not knowing what else to do Tom followed the man into the kitchen where, strangely enough, the man had already begun making his drink. The strange thing about this though was not that the man was making the coffee but that the things he required to make his beverage were floating to the counter before him. Tom knew from past experience that weed was not a hallucinogen, and its effects did not last for 2 days, so he had no reasonable explanation for what was happening in front of him.

“Umm… what the hell is going on?”
Tom was a patient man but he really wanted to know, what the hell was going on.

“What do you mean, I’m making a coffee” replied the man without turning around.

“Well if you hadn’t noticed… the coffee just uhh floated from a cabinet to the counter in front of you, and then continued to pour its contents into the coffee maker”

“And the oddity about this would be?” asked the old man very seriously

Tom was now getting frustrated, how could the short man not know, or care, what was going on. “Well, typically things don’t float…”

“Of course they don’t” said the man “only in dreams would things float like magic, are you dreaming Tom?”

Then, Tom woke up. This was, by far, the most peculiar dream Tom had ever had, well he hoped it had been a dream, because he still had the clothes he had been wearing in his dream.

I havnt finished it... I was bored, if you use it I will be honoured...it kinda sucks though. I dont even remember how it goes.
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