#1
Here's a little something I've been cooking up during the past day or two

Genre? Not entirely too sure, it's on the metal side of the spectrum though. i've been listening to a lot of death metal like vital remains lately but i tried to avoid just chugga chugga blast beats

the problems I see are transitioning/structuring issues along with some repetitiveness. i also need to flesh out the mid acoustic section.
i'll leave the rest of the criticizing to you guys

edit2: edited rse again
Attachments:
Ant Hills.zip
Last edited by Sinten at Feb 23, 2008,
#2
Thanks for critting my peice... I feel obliged to return the favor!

From the first listen all the way through, it seems like we're going on a journey visiting a lot of places with different moods. I listen to a lot of classical music, so I kinda like that. One thing I notice is that at about 3:24, I think you could use a better transition into the acoustic bit. The acoustic part sounds awesome, it's just that I think the transition needs to be a little refined. Maybe take a little more time to slow down into it or something.

I like the solo at about 4:36. The volume swells definitely add a little tension, and then it kind just releases with the speed. It goes back into the acoustic bit very well from there, and the swells add character to it. I think you should slow down at the end. Just a bit of a ritardando would make it seem a little more epic.

I wasn't really impressed with the beginning, to be honest. I'm not much of a death metal fan, and that's what it sounds like. It does add contrast with the acoustic stuff and all that, and then there's the part at 2:03. It doesn't seem to fit. The transition could be a little better there. Again, just more time to slow down there. That part sounds just fine, though. I like how the bass works with the guitar instead of just like root notes and whatever.

The biggest problem is the transitions. The acoustic part itself is fine. I find that myself, when I write it in PowerTabs and then play it in real life it's a lot easier to add those little variations when you're just playing. That sort of stuff is probrably better to just improvise and remember, if you plan on performing this.

I hope this helps... I realize I kinda jumped around. I thought it was great, except for some of the death metal parts. Like I said, I just don't really like that sort of stuff. Sounded fine, though.
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#3
thanks for the crit. i'm really glad that you thought of it as being a little journey, my idea behind the song was just trying to express how i feel when i wake up and going through a typical day then ending the song off with sleep. you know, just a whole creatures of habit deal. the premise sounds a bit too high up for this song but i plan on writing some lyrics and vocal melodies eventually

and i definitely agree with your criticisms you made, i just need to figure out how to implement them

i'm thinking about just gutting the song and taking the acoustic sections and making something else out of it
Last edited by Sinten at Feb 22, 2008,
#4
First thought, nice intro - definitely quite heavy and in your face, some interesting chords used

Really liked bar 47, nice progression. Definitely lots of creative stuff in here, looks rather difficult to play some of those chords! :P That's probably my main criticism, is if you were to record it, i don't know how close you could get it to sound like it does in GP as some of those chords sound quite a bit different when actually playing them.

I'm not much of a fan of the genre you're writing in to be honest, so am probably not the best judge... but you could work with it and maybe make something else out of it as you said.
#5
Well. Although I loved the riffs it just repetitive and a bit boring. Then it switched into this awful sounding power chord sequence. It just didn't sound good. I liked the song once it dropped into it at bar 31. I didn't like the stupid bass and guitar runs e.g. bar 70. The acoustic part was awesome although I didn't like the D shape part at bar 81. I absolutely loved the part at bar 86 onwards. I was gonna give this song a 6/10 but that part lifted it to a 7.5/10. Nice one.

C4C https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=795104
#6
i'm agreeing with you guys about the beginning. my favorite parts of the song personally are bars 31-46, both acoustic passages and bar 85 and beyond. i'm reworking a piano introduction into the song and a more lighthearted guitar section to lead into bar 31, probably just leaving 85-110 as the intense moment in the song
#7
sorry for late reply mate - internet here's been wank, anyway as i go:

As others have said, the beginning could be better. The opening riff is good but you don't really expand on it. Move further up in the scale for a bit. Then we hit the chord section. This has potential - if you put a few different notes behind it (maybe synth?) just to harmonise with it and slightly counter the harsh feel. I know what you're going for but it's too harsh/clashy to be honest.

Thought the first transition worked pretty well to be honest. I know how hard they are to get right and this was good. First mini-solo section was good as well as is the 2/4 section that follows. Also bar 57 was brilliant - works perfectly. And thank you for putting in a bass line that doesn't just follow the root notes!! Some lovely fills. Sadly the second transition to acoustic (73) doesn't work as well. It's a good section but a bit of a jarring transformation. Not a huge fan of 86-89 but then I don't like death metal lol. Good bass transition as well and a nice solo, didn't like the swells - i never do. It just seems to ruin the momentum you're building.

The transition back into the acoustic works ok; a bit jarry but not too bad. The acoustic section itself is good and then come the annoying swells. To be honest they work well here i just hate the noise they make on guitar pro! It's a good finish to the song however it just seems to me that it needs a bit more melodic input. A bit more harmony in the dischord section would make that brilliant and (possibly) a little longer solo? Good work though man will be checking out your stuff in the future!
#8
Man, nice ****in' work. The beginning has a Mastodon feel/sound to it. The midsection is also very topnotch.