#1
Writers: Cuan Gray, Lesley Gray, Giuseppe Gaudino and Michael Wittenweiler
Genre: metalcore
Band: Psychosis Nightmare
Title: Insane
Singers: Cuan Gray and Michael Wittenweiler


There's simply no savior
yeah 'cause there's simply no way out
I walk alone in the dark and no one cares, yeahhhhh
and no one cares, and no one dares to catch me while
I fall down in the abyss of madness
I'm on the edge of the nothingness, yeahhhhhh
suicide, my only light, the only thing to stop this fight
to stop dying, now you stop crying because

I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die
I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die insane

There's simply no savior
yeah because I know there's no hope at all
voices kill me, psychosis eats me
it's time to end this
blood on the walls, on the floor, on the stairs
everywhere, everyday, everyhour of my existence
yes mom I tried to kill myself, I want to end this
because

I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die
I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die insane

Ich will nicht!


its meaning seems to be evident and clear but I assure you some parts are very difficult to understand.

We just would like to know if these are deep and impressing words.
I wish I was free of this
#2
Its good. not my fav genre, but it works. What does that thing in german mean?
Are You a PROG-HEAD? I am.


We raise the Vibratory so high
That all untruth will fall of its own dead weight
#4
Quote by incarnation
Its good. not my fav genre, but it works. What does that thing in german mean?


I don't want
I wish I was free of this
#7
what the hell is going on with the title? we're in a songwriting forum, the title is the title of my song....wtf!!
I wish I was free of this
#8
I like it, although I don't quite get the rhythm (which is hard to put onto a sheet of words, so no problems there as I'm sure you have something that works).

There's simply no savior
yeah 'cause there's simply no way out Don't particullarly like the usse of simply no way out. Seems like you're trying too hard to repeat it and it doesn't quite fit.
I walk alone in the dark and no one cares, yeahhhhh Like the imagery (if quite cliche)
and no one cares, and no one dares to catch me while like the rhym of cares/dares
I fall down in the abyss of madness
I'm on the edge of the nothingness, yeahhhhhh
suicide, my only light, the only thing to stop this fight Love this line, the three part rhythm and middle end rhyme work brilliantly
to stop dying, now you stop crying because dying/crying is a bit cliche

I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die
I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die insane No too eloquant but fine for the song and genre

There's simply no savior
yeah because I know there's no hope at all
voices kill me, psychosis eats me This line seems to miss a beat, and tbh 'voices kill' and 'psychosis eats' are poor personalisations. Maybe replace 'eats' with devours'.
it's time to end this
blood on the walls, on the floor, on the stairs
everywhere, everyday, everyhour of my existence Like the last two lines alot. Remind me of F*cking Hostile by Pantera.
yes mom I tried to kill myself, I want to end this Meh... again a line with potential but pretty poor execution... I think I just don't like the inlusion of 'mom', and apart from that the line's pretty bland
because

I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die
I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die insane

Ich will nicht! Means I will not, yeah? Except the german verb of 'to be' in the future tense is almost certainly not 'will'. I don't really see the need for this ending, unless you're a German band. I suggest either putting it fully in German, fully in English, or changing it to something else entirely (Just a yell of 'I don't wanna die!' would work for me.

As I said, I like it, you have some good imagery and the chorus gives it an anthemy/chanty style, but some little bits need work.

Mind having a look at 'The Circle of the Suicides'?

Cheers.