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#1
Q: How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb
A: Thousands, 1 to screw it in and the rest to follow the old burnt out one around the country for years
I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their intellects. A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
#2
Q. How many economists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A. 8. 1 to screw in the lightbulb, 7 to keep everything else constant.
#3
Q. How many amish does it take to screw in a lightbulb?


A. What is a lightbulb?
Peace n' love
I understand about indecision, but I don't care if I get behind. People living in competition, all I want is to have my peace of mind- Boston

CLASS OF 2008!!!!!!!

Member of UG's Christian Guitarists
#4
Q: How many ADD kids does it to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Let's go ride b... SHINEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Proud member of r0k 4 Chr15t club, PM T3hRav3n/christianbassis to join.

The Rig:
Dean Icon
Cimar strat-copy
Ibanez GRX-40
Dean Edge-1 Bass
Digitech RpX400
Peavey Rage 158


Creater of Tuba players united, pm to join.
#5
not lightbulb but same kind of joke


how many rednecks does it take to eat a possum?


2- one to eat it and one to watch for cars
Last edited by dudeqwertyuiop1 at Feb 22, 2008,
#7
How Many Bass Guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, the keyboardist can do it with his left hand.

#8
how many emos do you need to screw out a lightbulb ?


one to screw it out , one that writes a poem about it , another one slitting their wrists and another one just crying because the lightbulb is dead.

haha -.-
I will leave this world in the same way i entered it. Bathed in blood , screaming.


Schecter S-1 Elite
Fender Stratocaster
Boss Metalzone
Boss Chorus
Some vintage Yamaha Amp
#9
How many lead guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb?

One: He holds it and the world revolves around him.
#10
How many singers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None he holds the lightbulb and the world revolves around him

How many guitarists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

1000s, 1 to screw it in and the rest to take the credit.
#11
^ or how many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb

non they just sit and cry in the dark.

how many women does it take to screw in a lightbult

1000, 1 to hold it in place, the other 999 to turn the house around.




Quote by dogismycopilot
Absent Mind, words cant express how much i love you. Id bone you, oh yea.

Quote by lumberjack
Absent Mind is, as usual, completely correct.

Quote by littlemurph7976
Id like to make my love for Neil public knowledge as he is a beautiful man
#12
How many guitarists do you need to screw in a lightbulb? 8 1 to do it and the other 7 sit there and say i could've done that...
Buy elect the dead...
#13
Quote by ctgreaper
how many emos do you need to screw out a lightbulb ?


one to screw it out , one that writes a poem about it , another one slitting their wrists and another one just crying because the lightbulb is dead.

haha -.-


Epic fail.

Quote by K-Jack666
How Many Bass Guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, the keyboardist can do it with his left hand.


+361348672346.
#14
Q: How many Apple employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Ten - one to screw it in, two to design the icon, four to design the T-shirts, and three to come up with the code name for the project.
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#15
Quote by ctgreaper
how many emos do you need to screw out a lightbulb ?


one to screw it out , one that writes a poem about it , another one slitting their wrists and another one just crying because the lightbulb is dead.

haha -.-


ahahaha that was funny
#16
how many microsoft employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

non the lightbulb isnt compatible with the socket.

how many pit monkeys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

all of them, one to say its fail, one to say lolwut, one to demand the bulb does a barrel roll instead of screwin in etc etc etc and the rest to masturbate.




Quote by dogismycopilot
Absent Mind, words cant express how much i love you. Id bone you, oh yea.

Quote by lumberjack
Absent Mind is, as usual, completely correct.

Quote by littlemurph7976
Id like to make my love for Neil public knowledge as he is a beautiful man
#17
How many drummers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they have machines that can do that now
#18
Quote by Absent Mind
how many microsoft employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

non the lightbulb isnt compatible with the socket.


lmfao. win.

Quote by Absent Mind
how many pit monkeys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

all of them, one to say its fail, one to say lolwut, one to demand the bulb does a barrel roll instead of screwin in etc etc etc and the rest to masturbate.


lolwut? phail. do a barrel roll. im touching myself.
#19
Quote by Absent Mind
how many microsoft employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

non the lightbulb isnt compatible with the socket.


how many pit monkeys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

all of them, one to say its fail, one to say lolwut, one to demand the bulb does a barrel roll instead of screwin in etc etc etc and the rest to masturbate.


Oh that made me chuckle
Quote by jxljxl
If UG had a Facebook style Relationship thing, I'd e-marry you C-mak


Quote by jxljxl
I want C-mak in my bum.


^Think he might have a thing for me...
#20
here's a sort of different one:

how many doctors does it take to get a lightbulb out of a patient's ass?

two...and a janitor to help them figure out how.


it sounds sort of lame but made for a great episode of scrubs.
Weapons Mistress of the UG Military
...don't be scared
#21
How many protestants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?


None.

They live in eternal darkness.
hue
#22
Quote by Jaypack44
Q. How many amish does it take to screw in a lightbulb?


A. What is a lightbulb?



everyone always taking cheap shots at the Amish. theyre just misunderstood. lol.
#23
How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?


none, we have machines for that now.
Quote by rocknrollstar
"Oh baby baby yes yes YES! YES! *pinch harmonic*"
#24
How many Orthodox Jews does it take to change a lightbulb?

Change?


How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb?
10, one to change it and 9 others to pray against the spirit of darkness.


How many Catholics does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they use candles.
2 ducks and a rabbi walk into a bar.
The rabbi enjoys a nice drink and the ducks are shooed out so that health services aren't called in.
The day proceeds as normal.
#25
Haha, this thread is full of win.
As I always say: "Rawr"
#26
Canadians:

How many Liberals does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Ninety-four. Thirty-six to coordinate the inquiry into the burnout of the lightbulb, twenty-two to deny that the current party had anything to do with the lightbulb going out, eighteen to claim that the Conservative government was really behind the whole fiasco, ten to cover up the fact that the lightbulb burnout was planned by the previous Liberal government, and eight to translate Stephan Dion's apology speech into real English.


(The Liberals currently have 94 MPs in the House of Commons)
Quote by millerdrr
you caught me making a mistake on extremely basic theory, WHILE making a mistake regarding corporate philosophy. you earned the bag, and you single-handedly force me to retract all of my "Canada Blows" propaganda. you>me
#27
Q: how many people does it take to screw in a lightbulp ?
A: one, because I suck at not facing reality


ow, that and making jokes


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#29
Q: how many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

A: 10, 1 to hold it in place and the other 9 to drink until the room spins
Quote by FunkasPuck
i swear, we are like the small gloucestershire village of the internet: we try god bless us, but we are about 5 years behind the rest of the world.
#30
Q. How many amoeba does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A. 1, no 2, no 4! 8, 16, 32, 64, 128! 256, 512, 1024, 2048, 4096, STOOOOOP!!!!!!


#31
Q: How many bass players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Thousands. One to screw it in, and the rest to moan that they're the most important member of the band.


Q: How many drummers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: It doesn't matter - nobody notices them.


*dives behind flame shield*
Quote by abstract pie
Ahh the pit. Where conversations of Pokemon Cards can turn into ones of wizard homosexuality



You are everything I want...
...'Cause you are...

...Everything I'm not.

Atheism. Is. Not. A. Religion.
Today's saints were yesterday's sellouts
#32
Q: How many bass players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: 1, and two guitarists to steal his glory


Q: How many lead guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: 20. One to screw it in, and 19 to say they could have done it better.
Quote by webbtje
I've lost my bovine virginity.

I'm not even going to tell you what that means.


I loves bagels!

Proud member of the Trivium fans group
#34
Quote by MoleMania
how many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

one.


Fail
Quote by webbtje
I've lost my bovine virginity.

I'm not even going to tell you what that means.


I loves bagels!

Proud member of the Trivium fans group
#35
Quote by Absent Mind

how many pit monkeys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

all of them, one to say its fail, one to say lolwut, one to demand the bulb does a barrel roll instead of screwin in etc etc etc and the rest to masturbate.

And we can all guess which one of those your doing
Are You a PROG-HEAD? I am.


We raise the Vibratory so high
That all untruth will fall of its own dead weight
#36
Originally Posted by MoleMania
how many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

one.


Take down your Bill Bailey avatar now.
You do not deserve it.
Quote by abstract pie
Ahh the pit. Where conversations of Pokemon Cards can turn into ones of wizard homosexuality



You are everything I want...
...'Cause you are...

...Everything I'm not.

Atheism. Is. Not. A. Religion.
Today's saints were yesterday's sellouts
#38
how many feminists does it take to change a light bulb

none, feminists can't change anything

How many Scotsmen does it take to change a lightbulb?

depends how expensive the lightbulb is
Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
Wiggy = legend.

Devil's Advocate
Last edited by wiggy1988 at Feb 22, 2008,
#39
Quote by wiggy1988
how many feminists does it take to change a light bulb

none, feminists can't change anything


I liked this joke so much, I went back in time and posted it.
#40
lmao at wiggies SAME PAGE copy and paste fail!

How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1 who dies in the process and then a entire guitar company to rape his name...




Quote by dogismycopilot
Absent Mind, words cant express how much i love you. Id bone you, oh yea.

Quote by lumberjack
Absent Mind is, as usual, completely correct.

Quote by littlemurph7976
Id like to make my love for Neil public knowledge as he is a beautiful man
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