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#1
It's funny cause it's true. I'm posting this in the Pit rather then in Metal cuz I think it benefits everybody. If this is old or been posted, blame the search bar!

EDIT: I AM A METALHEAD. I apologize to my fellow brothers...I did not think that this post would ACTUALLY piss you off. Just thought it was funny. Man, I totally didn't agree with Joke #50 until I posted this. Teaches me.

Everything below is Cut&Paste from another forum.

1. Tell them every metal band worships the devil.
2. Ask if all black metal bands are trying to copy KISS or just most of them.
3. Hide their joint under their library card. (note from me: we have library cards?!)
4. Ask if they know of any other cool bands like Slipknot.
5. If they're listening to metal, tell them it sounds like some mainstream band. Doesn't matter who.
6. Say it's all a ripoff of Iron Butterfly anyway.
7. Ask if they've given their souls to Jesus yet.
8. Vaguely imply that you're gay and would like their company for the evening.
9. Record over their Cannibal Corpse albums with other Cannibal Corpse albums and see if they ever notice the difference.
10. Refuse to accept their fake I.D.
11. Ask how much Dio got paid for his role as Stuart Little. (ouch!)
12. Use the phrase "cookie monster vocals" and act like it's the funniest, most original thing you've ever come up with.
13. If they're listening to metal, tell them "These guys don't have talent. Now, those guys have talent!"
14. Say "What is vinyl?"
15. Point out how stupid Manowar is. If they agree, which they shouldnt, tell them the only thing more stupid is Black Sabbath with Dio.
16. Tell them it all sounds the same.
17. Admit that Cliff Burton was a dirty hippy who had already peaked musically.
18. If they say they love 80s metal, ask them what ever happened to Poison.
19. Tell them you like underground music too, like Godsmack.
20. Point out that Tarja from Nightwish can't sing.
21. Insist that Emperor videos would be better if they used a dance troupe.
22. Ask if Mayhem is Marilyn Manson's band.
23. Divert their CD shipments to the local Jewish community center.
24. Write "God Loves You" on their Venom backpatch.
25. Point out that just about every genre of music has an underground with bands who have integrity, so metal really isn't that unique.
26. Post under their nickname on a power metal board and say Ray Alder sh*ts all over John Arch.
27. Take out the Iron Maiden disc and put in 50 Cent.
28. Give them a spiky pop-punk haircut while they sleep.
29. Pronounce "Celtic Frost" correctly.
30. If they're over 25, say that people can still rock even if they have an unplanned child or two and drive a grocery getter. Then point and laugh.
31. Tell them you're not hiring and to try the other Cinnabon down the street.
32. Sit quietly and applaud politely at a metal show.
33. Make them be sober for five whole seconds.
34. Ask if Randy Rhoads was on the same flight as John Denver.
35. Tell them Korn brought metal back to life in the 90s.
36. Turn the bass way up on their stereo.
37. Laugh at Slayer for stealing their name from the Buffy show.
38. Call Doro fat.
39. Call them on their horrible grammar and/or spelling.
40. Remind them that metal is partially derived from the blues. Then accuse them of being widgets.
41. Use the phrase "balls in a vice" at least three times when talking about classic metal and/or power metal vocalists.
42. If it's a guy with long hair, address him as if he were female. Don't correct yourself about it.
43. Be impressed with how much RoadRunner Records has improved over the past ten years.
44. Say you love Metallica's debut, The Black Album. (lol!)
45. Notice that Lemmy hasn't moved his left hand in 30 years of playing bass. Haha.
46. Refer to metal as "that kill-your-father rape-your-mother stuff."
47. Ask them if their favorite band is so good, how come nobody has ever heard of them.
48. Pine for the good old days when Pour Some Sugar On Me was a big hit.
49. Tell them you used to be a metalhead, but grew out of it when you started listening to more intellectual stuff like...
50. Post a list of "Ways To Annoy Metal Fans" knowing full well that so many of them internalize everything and can't take a joke. (just jokes, guys! They're just jokes! )
Gear:
Inflatable Guitar
Digitech GSP 2101/Mosvalve 962/Yamaha S412V
My Imagination
Last edited by KryptNet at Feb 22, 2008,
#2
Booo copy and pasta.

Edit - that list just plays to the gallery. About three times it has to say "all metal sounds the same" in different ways.
#4
51. *reported*

but before
you are one of these trolling bastard who thinks its okay to bash metal coz everyone else in the pit is
#5
Quote by RatmN'Roses
"cookie monster vocals"
that made me laugh


I prefer eehhhh-yop! or UREH style myself.
#6
I didn't even read it and you already piss me off. Go eat a fork you fucking towel.
RULE BRITANNIA
Last edited by cobain_is_king at Feb 22, 2008,
#7
hmm...all that crap seems kinda weak
Guitars:
2009 Fender 72 Deluxe Telecaster
Yamaha F-130 Acoustic
Amps:
Blackstar HT5
Effects:
MXR Micro Chorus
R3FX Dual Resistafier
#8
Record over their Cannibal Corpse albums with other Cannibal Corpse albums and see if they ever notice the difference.

The best one.
#10
It didn't piss me off at all. I just think it's stupid.
Quote by Trefellin
You know a music scene is fucked up when it becomes difficult to keep track of who killed who, who committed suicide and who alledgedly engaged in cannibalism.

LastFM
#12
Quote by Mike!
Record over their Cannibal Corpse albums with other Cannibal Corpse albums and see if they ever notice the difference.

The best one.

#13
"4. Ask if they know of any other cool bands like Slipknot."

This pissed me off.
#14
Quote by Mike!
Record over their Cannibal Corpse albums with other Cannibal Corpse albums and see if they ever notice the difference.

The best one.

Exactly what I was going to say.
all the world's indeed a stage and we are merely players
#15
17. Admit that Cliff Burton was a dirty hippy who had already peaked musically.


Never under any circumstances, say anything offensive about cliff burton.

and i didn't find any of it funny...and believe me i can take a joke!
Professional Mixing available at request.

Everton FC
#16
Quote by akaDan
Sure, genre bashings all good fun untill someone mentions metal

if we were talking about the blues and jazz and classical id still be stickin up for them
#18
Quote by slayer_rule_\m/
if we were talking about the blues and jazz and classical id still be stickin up for them

And what about Emo? Hardcore?
What if someone was to make a thread discussing their likings for the musical stylings of Pete Wentz? How would you react?
#19
Quote by slayer_rule_\m/
51. *reported*

but before
you are one of these trolling bastard who thinks its okay to bash metal coz everyone else in the pit is


It's a joke. Don't burst a vein.
We sailed through endless skies...

Quote by King Twili

if someone sigs this i will be fairly displeased.


Lady Gaga has a penis! >>EVIDENCE<<

i¯i▀▀▀i¯i‾°δ‾‾Pך]█████████████████████████
#20
aw come on, i like listenin to metal and i thought this was funny lol, anybody the tells this person to grow up or anything like that needs to grow up themselves its only a laugh lol
Gear

Guitars - Fender Deluxe Player Strat, Squier Affinity Strat, Ibanez TCM - 50

Amps - Fender Blues Deluxe

Effects - Boss ME-50

Other - Banjo


Jazz Is not music, Its a way of life
#21
not even remotely annoying though they are all pretty stupid
I am me. Live with it.
#22
Quote by akaDan
And what about Emo? Hardcore?
What if someone was to make a thread discussing their likings for the musical stylings of Pete Wentz? How would you react?

i wouldnt.......simple as
#23
Quote by Hellish_Wolf
It's a joke. Don't burst a vein.

i know this is a joke
it just seems the pit is full of genre hating all of a sudden.
it sickens me.
#25
Quote by Footzyrama
Never under any circumstances, say anything offensive about cliff burton.

and i didn't find any of it funny...and believe me i can take a joke!


That actually made me mad, when that "list" mentioned Cliff.
#26
Quote by akaDan
And what about Emo? Hardcore?
What if someone was to make a thread discussing their likings for the musical stylings of Pete Wentz? How would you react?

the same way, you dumbass by reporting the TS for genre bashing
ya see most metalheads, as HARD as it is to beleive (sp?) have ETHICS and (OMG!!) a HIGH IQ
#27
Quote by doomed1
the same way, you dumbass by reporting the TS for genre bashing
ya see most metalheads, as HARD as it is to beleive (sp?) have ETHICS and (OMG!!) a HIGH IQ

Clearly not high enough to realise I didn't insult anyone or anything.
#28
Quote by slayer_rule_\m/
51. *reported*

but before
you are one of these trolling bastard who thinks its okay to bash metal coz everyone else in the pit is
Geez...I (the threadstarter) am a goddamn metalhead. ...who can take a joke.
Gear:
Inflatable Guitar
Digitech GSP 2101/Mosvalve 962/Yamaha S412V
My Imagination
#29
Quote by doomed1
the same way, you dumbass by reporting the TS for genre bashing
ya see most metalheads, as HARD as it is to beleive (sp?) have ETHICS and (OMG!!) a HIGH IQ


Hard to believe seeing so many people getting worked up because of some stupid list.
#30
Quote by destroy_techno
More like: "Ways to make yourself look ignorant"
+1 Nicely said
Guitars:
2009 Fender 72 Deluxe Telecaster
Yamaha F-130 Acoustic
Amps:
Blackstar HT5
Effects:
MXR Micro Chorus
R3FX Dual Resistafier
#31
Quote by akaDan
Clearly not high enough to realise I didn't insult anyone or anything.



in laymen's terms, i will not dignify that with a response and am now leaving this pointless, genre bashing thread
#32
Quote by KryptNet
Geez...I (the threadstarter) am a goddamn metalhead. ...who can take a joke.

oh so your not one of these people jumping on the *insert genre here* sucks bandwagon.
#33
Just look at my sig, it's the ultimate way to piss off metalheads. It's not even intentionally trying to piss them off.
I'm the same as I was when I was six years old
And oh my god I feel so damn old
I don't really feel anything
#34
Slayer calm down...

42. If it's a guy with long hair, address him as if he were female. Don't correct yourself about it.
^THE MOST ANNOYING THING, EVER.
#35
Xd those were pretty funny and I love metal. Its a joke

America's pass time=Stereotype bashing.
#36
Quote by doomed1


in laymen's terms, i will not dignify that with a response and am now leaving this pointless, genre bashing thread


Yes, ok mate, go play with your IQ.
#37
hahaha, so f*cking true!
Quote by hug a llama
Dude, if a title read "penis pics, come on in" I think about 93% of UG would still click on it.


Quote by Burpin'Worm
Nonsense. I'm telling you, nothing makes the fairer sex swoon like an extensive knowledge of siege weaponry and medieval battle tactics.
#38
Quote by StreetLight3989
Just look at my sig, it's the ultimate way to piss off metalheads. It's not even intentionally trying to piss them off.


It doesn't piss me off.

By the way, I just so happen to love Streetlight Manifesto (I'm assuming that's what your username is referring to).
Quote by Trefellin
You know a music scene is fucked up when it becomes difficult to keep track of who killed who, who committed suicide and who alledgedly engaged in cannibalism.

LastFM
#39
i dont see why pointing out metal comes from the blues would piss anyone off. blues is awesome as is metal
Sig space available, give me some praise
#40
Quote by metal4life592
It doesn't piss me off.

By the way, I just so happen to love Streetlight Manifesto (I'm assuming that's what your username is referring to).

Yes, they are who my username is based on. They're really good, although I don't listen to them as much as I used to.
I'm the same as I was when I was six years old
And oh my god I feel so damn old
I don't really feel anything
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