#1
I wrote this during school today
hope you like it
to here the rythe properly read like a prayer

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Mother Nature
To you I plea
For what you created
Cannot truly see

Goddess Hera
I pray to thee
For your help
To finally see
This thing you created
Is yet to be

Day by day
Many people think
Of different ways
To destroy your peice

They vent about problems
In the world of today
While the solutions right there
Right infront of their face

So mother Nature
To you I plee
The species you created
Cannot truly see

And Goddess Hera
I pray to thee
For your guidance
To help them see
This place you created
Is soon to be
Extinct
#2
hmmm it's a decent text imo, but i like One Sunday Night way more, it's alot more personal then this, and there is more of a story behind it: a story behind the song is what makes a song good i think.
#3
Quote by xiblackoutix
I wrote this during school today
hope you like it
to here the rythe properly read like a prayer

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mother Nature
To you I plea
For what you created
Cannot truly see

Goddess Hera
I pray to thee
For your help
To finally see
This thing you created
Is yet to be

Day by day
Many people think
Of different ways
To destroy your peice

They vent about problems
In the world of today
While the solutions right there
Right infront of their face

So mother Nature
To you I plee
The species you created
Cannot truly see

And Goddess Hera
I pray to thee
For your guidance
To help them see
This place you created
Is soon to be
Extinct


i liked it, it had a good flow, and the rhymes don't seemed forced at all. It also is an issue we're dealing with today so almost everyone can relate to the general idea. good job, hope to read more of yours soon!
#4
Verry "hippie"-ish. I havent read a poem like this in a good while. I like how you used the Goddess Hera, but i would be afraid that some younger readers/listeners would be unaware of what she is the Goddess of. I liked it alot. It is a very true message that we need to address and fix asap!

'67 Gibson SG Standard
MXR Phase 90 | Ibanez Tubescreamer TS9 | Vox V847A Wah-Wah
'65 Fender Bassman
#5
Quote by AndrewDulina
Verry "hippie"-ish. I havent read a poem like this in a good while. I like how you used the Goddess Hera, but i would be afraid that some younger readers/listeners would be unaware of what she is the Goddess of. I liked it alot. It is a very true message that we need to address and fix asap!


thanks a lot it get made fun of all the time for being a 'tree hugger' also i'm a greek myth freak. well not myths to me I believe it to be honest witht he greek gods. its more believable then one god that created it all.
#6
I liked this. It flowed very nicely and all the rhyming seemed to fit. One note though, did you mean to say "peace" instead of "piece"?
#7
i enjoyed reading it. I like the simplicity of it and how it still manages to send a strong message. the only part i thought was awkward was the 'For what you created Cannot truly see' line. other than that it was solid and interesting. thanks for the comment on mine.