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#1
Public transit.... what a joy.

Stories?

This one happened a couple of days ago. I was on the bus and there was this like 15 year old chick who was picking on this like ten year old kid. After about ten minutes of nagging, she finally says, "You see these big lips? Know what they're good for?"
and the whole bus goes silent. after like a ten second pause some guy in the back offers, "to fill up you're giant ****ing head?"

#2
I never have good experiences on buses.

To date, I have: fallen off a bus, been accused of murdering some crazy woman's daughter, been mistaken for a girl (when I had long hair), and had my head stuck in the door.

I wish I was kidding.
Last edited by _deeperthewound at Feb 23, 2008,
#6
Me and my friends were on our way to Guitar Center after a long week of school and we were chatting with a bum and he told us there were aliens and the Mafia underneath the Hollywood Park (racetrack about 7 blocks from my house). For some reason that weekend we got in the sewers but found nothing but wetness and cold . This is all for serial btw.
#7
Quote by Slash_HuDsOn
i know a chick thats pissed, **** and given head on the school bus before


Sound's like a class act....I don't have many good stories of the bus, but I'll try and muster something up. Once this guy I barely knew, I know him well now good friends him and I, well he comes up to where I'm sitting and says "Hey..." I say "Huh?" he says "You want a beer?" "What?" I say, he says "Do you want a beer? I've got a couple if you want one." I say "Alright..."
#8
I was sprinting 200 metres to get to the bus that was approaching the stop.

I get about 2 metres away (no exaggeration) and the mother****er pulls away. So as he passes by, I give the finger and backhand one of the windows. It made a big crack. Stupid safety glass. The bus stopped and I saw the driver getting out of his seat, so I ran. No more 7:28 #26 for me, outta fear.
How I wish, how I wish
That the world, that the world
Had just one
THROAT
And my fingers were around it


Literature thread
#9
Quote by maggot2011
Me and my friends were on our way to Guitar Center after a long week of school and we were chatting with a bum and he told us there were aliens and the Mafia underneath the Hollywood Park (racetrack about 7 blocks from my house). For some reason that weekend we got in the sewers but found nothing but wetness and cold . This is all for serial btw.


one time i found a homeless guy playing a guitar with one string outside taco bell and talking about how he beat johnny chash in a duel. i had to buy him a taco for that.
#10
Quote by deathbat831
one time i found a homeless guy playing a guitar with one string outside taco bell and talking about how he beat johnny chash in a duel. i had to buy him a taco for that.


I once beat johnny cash in a guitar duel, with a guitar that had no strings.....El Cabong style now buy me a taco...
#11
Quote by sexytime_69
This one time i gave up my seat to an old lady it was awesome.




And too _deeperthewound, I try to avoid public transport in general, exept for one time after a concert I missed the last train home and had to catch a bus. Some stoned gangster guy started checking out the girl I was with and he was like talking to us and asking whether we went to the concert, then proceeding to say his uncle bought him a ticket, that he hates rock music and that the concert sucked. I swear he was about to follow us when we got off. I could recall what he was saying too but it was an in the moment thing. Was funny if you were there.
#12
Quote by Von.
I was sprinting 200 metres to get to the bus that was approaching the stop.

I get about 2 metres away (no exaggeration) and the mother****er pulls away. So as he passes by, I give the finger and backhand one of the windows. It made a big crack. Stupid safety glass. The bus stopped and I saw the driver getting out of his seat, so I ran. No more 7:28 #26 for me, outta fear.


haahhha CLASSIC
R.A.G.E.
#13
Once this really drunk woman thought she was dying (probably hungover) and offered some money for this babys water bottle :/
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#14
Quote by Regression


And too _deeperthewound, I try to avoid public transport in general, exept for one time after a concert I missed the last train home and had to catch a bus. Some stoned gangster guy started checking out the girl I was with and he was like talking to us and asking whether we went to the concert, then proceeding to say his uncle bought him a ticket, that he hates rock music and that the concert sucked. I swear he was about to follow us when we got off. I could recall what he was saying too but it was an in the moment thing. Was funny if you were there.


Haha, that's pretty creepy... Are you one of those people, like myself, who ALWAYS seems to attract crazys who feel the need to talk to you?
#15
i know it was really dangerous, but this guy on my school bus threw an orange out the window, and by total fluke, hit a trucks front grill. i almost wet myself laughing.
#16
Friends went into a bus and blasted Behemoth on a stereo. Some old women got mad and said "Turn that crap down!"
#18
Quote by _deeperthewound
Haha, that's pretty creepy... Are you one of those people, like myself, who ALWAYS seems to attract crazys who feel the need to talk to you?


Apparently I do. I also recall some old man coming up to me and saying something which was litterally just a bunch of letters put together. As for the stoned guy, the first thing he said to me was "where do you live?". That was probably the single most awkard moment of my life.

Edit: And semi unrelated but one time waiting for my school bus, these dumb asses from my school decided to light a fire. I ended up being higher than the motorway bridge, (bus stop was right near a motorway) and then this guy I know called the fire brigade. And in the end the guys who lit it, got the smart idea of putting it out with there shoes, so they started throwing there shoes at it, and somehow managed to get the fire out. So the bus comes, and we all get on, except the guy who called the fire brigade because he felt he should wait for them just to show it wasnt a fake call. And so the bus drives off and as we go around the roundabout this fire enginse comes zooming past from the other way with the sirens on. That was a good laugh.
Last edited by Regression at Feb 23, 2008,
#19
When I used to take the school bus home, my friend would always throw food out the window at other students as we drove by. One time he threw an open pudding and it landed all over some football jock's school jacket. It was funny, but I felt bad.

Another time I was busing home from a concert and there was a really drunk guy in the backseat. The bus was packed and there were no seats left so me and my friends were standing at the back right beside the guy. He kept saying "Let's see some Burlington BOOBIES" (Burlington, Ontario) and touching my leg. It was weird, but pretty funny.

I love taking the city bus. It's awesome when you walk on and you see someone you know.
#20
I remember this other time me and my friend were on a bus, and there was a special ed boy sitting across from us and my friend kept flashing his willy at him, it was kinda disturbing for me i dont hang out with him anymore.
#21
Quote by fretsonfire74
i know it was really dangerous, but this guy on my school bus threw an orange out the window, and by total fluke, hit a trucks front grill. i almost wet myself laughing.

Some kid on my school bus took a BUNCH of medical tape and wadded it up into a giant hard ball. Then he threw it out the window and it hit a trucks windshield.

NOTHING HURTS BATMAN!

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#22
Quote by Regression
Apparently I do. I also recall some old man coming up to me and saying something which was litterally just a bunch of letters put together. As for the stoned guy, the first thing he said to me was "where do you live?". That was probably the single most awkard moment of my life.

Edit: And semi unrelated but one time waiting for my school bus, these dumb asses from my school decided to light a fire. I ended up being higher than the motorway bridge, (bus stop was right near a motorway) and then this guy I know called the fire brigade. And in the end the guys who lit it, got the smart idea of putting it out with there shoes, so they started throwing there shoes at it, and somehow managed to get the fire out. So the bus comes, and we all get on, except the guy who called the fire brigade because he felt he should wait for them just to show it wasnt a fake call. And so the bus drives off and as we go around the roundabout this fire enginse comes zooming past from the other way with the sirens on. That was a good laugh.


Haha, that is immense! The crazy woman I mentioned earlier came over to me and my friend and started babbling on, asking where her daughter was, then accused me of murdering her daughter, then begging for forgiveness by grabbing and kissing my hand (she sorta drooled on my hand a bit). This is over the period of about 20-25 minutes. Then, as me and my friend were getting off the bus, she moved down the bus to some other person and started the whole routine again. At first I thought she was following me off the bus, and I was muttering 'Ohmygodshe'scomingafterus' into my friend's back. He just laughed the whole time, the bastard.
#25
I remember seeing a load of chavs taking photos of this fat guy cos he literally filled two seats.

Fat ****er should have paid for two seats!
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#26
Back in high school, on the band bus(yes I'm a band nerd) they played something called "Ultimate freeze-out"). This consisted of stripping down to your skivvies, opening all the windows, and seeing who can go the longest. It was nighttime and probably about 25-30F outside.

And on the track bus, the entire guys track team singing along, loudly, to "a thing called love" by The Darkness, and the rest of the mixed cd with similar party songs.

And if the church bus(van) counts, my youth pastor actually drove a 15 passenger van through a field and around the bases on a baseball field.
Nope, no sig here.
Last edited by Mutant Corn at Feb 23, 2008,
#27
One morning, the bus stopped at one of the stops that it usually does and I saw an old-ish guy standing there eating an ice cream... That was weird because it was 7:30am and it was freezing cold. Anyway, he gets on the bus, starts mumbling to the bus driver about something, then Hey Jude comes on the radio so he starts singing it for the whole bus. Yeah, creepy.

Oh and a creepy bus driver closed the doors on me as I was getting off the bus. My arm and bag were cought in there and he drove for like 1 meter with me still in the door.
#30
Quote by _deeperthewound
Haha, that is immense! The crazy woman I mentioned earlier came over to me and my friend and started babbling on, asking where her daughter was, then accused me of murdering her daughter, then begging for forgiveness by grabbing and kissing my hand (she sorta drooled on my hand a bit). This is over the period of about 20-25 minutes. Then, as me and my friend were getting off the bus, she moved down the bus to some other person and started the whole routine again. At first I thought she was following me off the bus, and I was muttering 'Ohmygodshe'scomingafterus' into my friend's back. He just laughed the whole time, the bastard.


She drooled on your hand... =|
That would just be weird, and incredibally gross.
#31
I was once on the bus home with my friend and i looked in my bad for something and found an old sandwich bag with some really old lettuce in it with some mayonayse, so i just threw it over my shoulder and thought nothing of it, i looked back and this chick sitting behind me looking really pissed off (i assume it hit her or something), so i picked it up from where it landed and threw it out the window and it blew back in.
WHOMP

Think of that next time you are not allowed to laugh.
#32
My friend told me he was on a bus with this big group of Aboriginals and they kept making heaps of noise and a fair amount of trouble. After the Aboriginals got off, the bus driver kept driving and when he saw the next bus stop with a big group of Aboriginals waiting next to it, he drove right past it.
#33
i met a drug dealer on a bus(the 12 in glasgow) - he owned.

he gave me some mary-j for free. I assume he was drunk (i was also drunk)

It owned.

note: i am drunk right now sorry if this offends u .

peace
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#34
Let on for free a couple of times.

A drunk old man got on the bus and said to me. "Here you. I want a word with you." and he pointed to the back of the bus.

I don't know if he wanted to beat me up or rape me.

I said, "Aye aye, go take a seat."
Eventually he did.
The bus started to go again and the old man was kneeling down in the aisle, talking to a girl who was quite happy sitting on her own.

The bus driver shouted at him to sit down.

The drunk old man stayed where he was.

Another shout from the bus driver.

No response from the old man.

The bus driver stopped the bus at the next stop.

Said, "Right you, OFF!, NOW!"

The drunk old man refused.

The bus driver grabbed the man's arms, forced them behind his back and escorted him off the bus. Leaving him stranded in a small village (that only has one shop..that sells fabric)

The bus driver put on a pair of sunglasses and started driving again.


That bus driver kicked ass.
DΔC
#35
Quote by deathbat831
one time i found a homeless guy playing a guitar with one string outside taco bell and talking about how he beat johnny chash in a duel. i had to buy him a taco for that.


sigged.
DΔC
#36
I have a good story. There was a party out in the outskirts of my town, and we stayed until about 12, and left to get the bus. There was about 8 of us, all lads, and we got to the busstop and found that we'd missed the last bus. But then a bus turned up, and everyone was cheering and stuff. Bearing in mind we were all pretty drunk and/or high, and we had poppers with us (yeah, I know, gay!).
So we go to get on and the busdriver tells us that she's finished for the night, so we're all like 'aw, ****!' And so we're thinking about walking to a mates house, which was about 5 miles awayish. And so my mate pleads with the busdriver to let us on and she says that she'll take us to the bus depot which was great, because there's a Bud Depot right near my mates house But she said she had to turn all the lights out and we had to pretend we weren't there. So there's 8 of us on a bus, middle of the night, pitch black basically, all sniffing this stuff and being generally really high and drunk.
My friend lives right near the bus depot, but what we failed to realise was that there are 3 bus depot's in Brighton/Hove, and that 2 of these were even further away than where we started from. So naturally, the Busdriver turns onto the Bypass and starts heading in the opposite direction to where we want to go! So we decide to ride it out and see where we end up, which turns out to be 'Conway Street Bus Depot' out in Hove. So now we're out in Hove with absolutely no idea how to get home. We start walking around along the biggest, most important looking roads we see, and luckily we managed to find a main road where Nightbuses ran along! So we had to get a Nightbus from Hove back into Brighton, and then get another one to my friends house.

I have a video that I took while we were on the Bus, just incase anyone thinks I'm bull****ting/ wants to see what happened. Haha, it was pretty classic.
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#37
Back in middle school, me and some guys use to have fights with those sticks of yogurt. We would hit each other with them and one day 2 of them exploded and went everywhere. On the driver, the windows, the mirrors. We got conducts.
■■■
'member The Pit of 10'? oH, I 'member!


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#38
I have 3 bus experiences i can think of. 2 relate to the fact that some kids can't catch their designated school bus so have to take the public one.

One is this 15 year old school girl flirting with me, (Im guessins her age but thats how old she looked) on my way to university. I didn't know what to do, let her for my own humor and face stares from the rest of the bus, ignore her and hurt her feelings or (what i did....idiot) tell her that there was no way id ever think about kissing her. She then preceded to yell at me for not wanting to have a sensible conversation about how "pretty" my eyes are......

Another is a female about the same age whom was shooting paper wasps at everyone in the bus with her friends. I was listening to my Ipod but after copping one in the back of my head i got up. went to the bus driver and had this kid and her friends kicked off the bus.....I still to this day feel sory for them but i guess they had a phone between them

The last was a crash. Some idiot 4wd driver side swiped the rear of the bus. This idiot was the real angry skin head type and after getting out of his car went over and started a punch up with the bus driver. Me and 2 other guys broke up the fight and i havn't seen that bus driver driving the buses again
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#39
I was on a bus with some drunk guy (it was like, 3:30 in the afternoon) and he's talking about how he's an author, and he's written lots of scientific journals and ****. I asked him "Like what?" and he said "It's not important" and he changed the subject to how he hates sexism and racism, and how he would give every girl on the bus $100,000 just for being who they are. He then proceeds to change the subject to how the Boston Red Sox are paying Daisuke Matsuzaka $100,000,000 for playing Baseball

"They're Payin' an ASIAN $100,000,000 to play BASEBALL."

During all of this, he was trying to pour beer into a Thermos, and phailing, causing it to spill everywhere. It was damn hilarious.

Also another time, I was getting off the bus, and there were a whole bunch of little kids like, 6-8 years old on the bus going to the Science Centre (which was a few stops after i got off). So basically, the back door of the bus is operated by you pushing a big yellow bar, then it opens. Sometimes its hard to open. So I kinda push on it, expecting it to open, and it doesn't quite, so the bars come back and clock me on the forehead. I yell "FUCK!!" and all these kids and their teachers just stare at me in shock. I left then...
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Last edited by poopsmith666 at Feb 23, 2008,
#40
A long time ago, I think I was in Alabama, and I was getting on the bus this one time. Well anyway, I wanted my normal front seat but there was a black lady just sitting there complaining she was old and shit and couldn't move to go back to the back of the bus. So obviously I was pissed off, and I cocksmacked that bitch right then. She started some civil rights movement or some shit after that.
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