#1
These are the first two verses to the song that's in progress. Criticism is greatly appreciated:

One by one they stand in line
and one by one they march to die
Ev'ryone says they will be fine
Jan. 20 thank god good-bye

Can someone tell me what we're fighting for
Whatever happened to the days of yore
We cannot take this anymore
Sieg Heil! to the President of War

I'm yet to write the chorus and other verses but i'm quite happy with this so far
#3
Quote by Redsx158
These are the first two verses to the song that's in progress. Criticism is greatly appreciated:

One by one they stand in line
and one by one they march to die
Ev'ryone says they will be fine
Jan. 20 thank god good-bye

Can someone tell me what we're fighting for
Whatever happened to the days of yore
We cannot take this anymore
Sieg Heil! to the President of War

I'm yet to write the chorus and other verses but i'm quite happy with this so far


What is the song about? Seems kinda weird for a 15 year old to write like this.
#4
It's about mine and alot of other peoples anger at the current administration and mainly some of their foreign policies a.k.a. Iraq

With the current administration and more and more people getting more involved in politics especially with the upcoming election. I don't think it is that weird for somebody of my age to write this.
#6
It's alright, and good for your first try. I think the rhyming seems a little contrived, but that's just my opinion.

Quote by Redsx158
It's about mine and alot of other peoples anger at the current administration and mainly some of their foreign policies a.k.a. Iraq

Don't try to make it seem like its more that it is. Its an anti-iraq song, and there's nothing wrong with that.
fght ff yr dmns. wrt sngs n yr slp. fight yr dmns your DEMONS. w lv y. w mss y. i lv y s mch tht t hrts m hd.
#8
Please give the rules a read over. They are found at the top of this forum. You can then repost this.

Thanks
THW
Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.