#1
Just a little light hearted jab at the music elitist types I've met in my town. No offence to any who fit the description, I think we all do sometimes

Sit around the table bitching
About the groups we used to love
Before they all sold out.
"I really liked their early work
but now they just get paid."
Someone slips a vinyl out
And plays some song
Nobody's ever heard.
No name recognition
Means we're in the clear.
I think we may have found
Our new favourite band.
At least until they get a few more fans.


This is basically just for entertainment purposes, so I'm not really looking for in depth crits or anything. I'll look at some of your stuff if you leave a comment, and link me.
#2
Hey Alex,

I thought this was a bit too vague even for a comedic approach. "Sit around bitching" wasn't a good starting line by any means. A lot of it felt like it was taken from a conversation; and i felt like adding in a speech mark from the first line to the last.
But with that said i thought the last five lines were decent.

"About the groups we used to love" needed a semi-colon at the end of love.

I'm sorry for the unintentional harshness; i guess being a former fan of Fall out boy kind of got to me

PS; Can you check out my 'Alex' piece please
#3
I agree.

I appreciate what you were trying to do, but this was very vague.
The subject matter can be used for something brilliant, and alot of writers here have done it in the past to dazzling effects.

But this wasn't great....sorry.
Poor advice.
#5
Quote by rush4life
Just a little light hearted jab at the music elitist types I've met in my town. No offence to any who fit the description, I think we all do sometimes

Sit around the table bitching
About the groups we used to love
Before they all sold out.
"I really liked their early work
but now they just get paid."
Someone slips a vinyl out
And plays some song
Nobody's ever heard.
No name recognition
Means we're in the clear.
I think we may have found
Our new favourite band.
At least until they get a few more fans.


This is basically just for entertainment purposes, so I'm not really looking for in depth crits or anything. I'll look at some of your stuff if you leave a comment, and link me.


Ahah yea I can relate a bit to the first 3 lines. I did bitch quite a bit about Metallica's St Anger, but that just me liking more their previous work. Bands evolve and not in everyone's taste.

The rest is really good too. Really true.

If you could check my work please ^^
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=795683
#6
Quote by nightraven
well i wrote something similar to this a while ago.


sorry it's a bit of a crap-crit. i don't think this piece really needs fixing up. make a different piece. this one didn't have the right touch which i like. no fancy poetic description

but yeah. drop a few comments on my thing. or a bump. whatever
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=795659

Nick.


It's ok, since I said no crits in my original post I'll look at yours later.