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#1
ok im so pissed. I made a post a while back about 3 weeks ago. my parents were out for the nigh and were suposed to come home at 4. I read a thread about home made sex toys i chose the cucumber. ( u heat it up clean it and it feels like pussy after u put in in microwave. ) and i just finished downloading my hentai porno. so i was sitting tehre happy almsot about to burst with a cucumber in my hand and hentai playing at 1 AM and my parenta walk in from a movie.

Now sined me up for therapy that i HAVE to go to... i dont know how to tell them that im a normal kid that wanted to experiment. serisly i feel like **** now they think im like mental or somting.
#2
The Pear would be priceless here...
El-Danny

Quote by americnidiot
You keep seeing songs like KoC, SMBH, and Hysteria showing up on games, but I want Micro Cuts on either Rock Band or Sing Star. I want to see numerous masses of kids staring at the tv wondering what the hell they're supposed to do.
#5
A hot cucumber? That's f*cking weird. Seriously, use a tissue. Flush it down the toilet and no evidence ever existed. Better than a warm cum-filled cucumber.
#6
They're paying it, be normal the therapist will know.
If you're normal that is... I would rather eat a cucumber than use it as a sex toy.
FFS, don't play with food!
#7
Just tell the shrink that, he'll tell your parents you're fine, and all will be well. But good luck getting them to take you to the grocery store again for a few years...
Telecaster - SG - Jaguar
Princeton Reverb, Extra Reverb
P-Bass - Mustang Bass
Apogee Duet 2 - Ableton Suite
#10
WAY!!!!!!!!! have fun
Hull City A.F.C

Quote by Thrashtastic15
crunkym toy diuckl;ess ass ****igkjn ****** **** bitch ass pussy ****er douchecanoe ****** **** you s omn cnt you lieet le biutch
#14
Quote by chrisatgrace
do cartoons really get you off? if yes, then you need therapy


/thread


I hear the cartoons are hot, I do not know.
#16
haha great story...
and in my ears you are obviously more mature than your parents... of course you could act nuts in therapy and tell us how it goes =) we'll have a laugh
Last edited by guitaringsailor at Feb 26, 2008,
#19
I understand where you coming from brother. The last time I tried to **** a vegetable while watching cartoon porn I just got a bunch of strange looks from the people in the grocery store. When will they understand I'm not crazy?
Renegade of this Time and Age.

Quote by reaume140
You Sir, have made my night, thank you.
#21
Quote by 12Jim34
A hot cucumber? That's f*cking weird. Seriously, use a tissue. Flush it down the toilet and no evidence ever existed. Better than a warm cum-filled cucumber.

haha
"We are not concerned with motive, with higher ethics. We are concerned only with cutting down crime-."
#22
fail troll is fail
Quote by big duck
You are so going to hell, but that is hilarious.


Quote by esther_mouse


Quote by K_McGill
Idiot
#23
Quote by 12Jim34
A hot cucumber? That's f*cking weird. Seriously, use a tissue. Flush it down the toilet and no evidence ever existed. Better than a warm cum-filled cucumber.

WILL RUIN TOILETS.

Bath tissue (toilet paper) is better!
#25
Quote by bigshibshaun


Now sined me up... serisly i feel like **** now they think im like mental or somting.



you aren't normal, you are clearly a retard.
Acoustic Percussion Guitar Player
Quote by InvaderTSN
I can only poop during full moons.
#27
Quote by Ichikurosaki
That's what you get for mixing hentai with real experience

Hentai = art, and should be treated as such.

If you really need to fap then use real porn.


so is metal... am i still aloud to headbang?
#29
Hang on you just made a thread asking if you are cute or not...........................filthy liar !
#30
Quote by freedoms_stain
at least it wasn't in your ass.


It took me a few reads to make sure he wasn't going in that direction. But now it just leads to all sorts of questions.

How exactly do you turn a phallic looking cucumber into a vagina. Is it some special way of cutting it? Why was it necessary to clean it first? Are cucumbers known for spreading VD? The only logistics I can figure is you cut it vertically and kind of make it the bun to your, eh, wiener. WHY WON'T ANYBODY ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?!
Renegade of this Time and Age.

Quote by reaume140
You Sir, have made my night, thank you.
Last edited by Incuboy49 at Feb 26, 2008,
#32
Quote by Halfmastmutiny
im never eating salad at your house, ever....ever...ev...er


You've been to his house...?
#37
Quote by freedoms_stain
at least it wasn't in your ass.


lol
may b u need it, who likes porn cartoons??? i preffer real girls dont u?
#38
Quote by Sid McCall
Just tell the shrink that, he'll tell your parents you're fine, and all will be well. But good luck getting them to take you to the grocery store again for a few years...


HAHAHAHA!!!!!
Desperate Times, Desperate Measures.
#40
Quote by Tazeyo
They're paying it, be normal the therapist will know.
If you're normal that is... I would rather eat a cucumber than use it as a sex toy.
FFS, don't play with food!
BE NORMAL ?! What exactly is "not normal" about the poster ?

I'm sorry but this kind of makes me sick. I'm very tired of sexual oppression in North America. Just because people don't understand something they point the finger and label and consider people who have healthy fetishes and engage in various kinds of non-harmful sexual activities to be "disturbing sickos". It's just more discrimination, no different than racism or ethnically-driven stereotypes and discrimination.

To the poster - You know what, I really wouldn't worry about it too much because any decent therapist worth his money will realize after talking to you for 2 minutes that what you have is a healthy fetish tied into sexual experimentation. He will probably ask you if there are any issues that you want to talk about, he might even press it. Because, after all, he wants your parents money. But he will also talk to your parents and tell them that they are overreacting and that you are not sick and don't have a problem.

Edit - Well apparently the poster was a troll and got himself banned, and I fell for it. Which means he's the exact kind of closed-minded immature twat that I was ranting about.
Last edited by garett at Feb 26, 2008,
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