#1
My dad had some business partners coming round so he told me to get the **** out for the night, gave me a couple hundred to get some jack n sh1t with the crew.

Phoned em up, told them to meet down by the lake, been a warm ass day so we were gonna chill the **** out with a couple girls from the local highschool. Cruise down to the school to pick em up, right away got a crowd of girls around my car, all wanna get on my strong assed self.I tell the ugly ones to get the hell off my car n this one girl starts yappin about making her friend cry so i think "**** this" and drive over her feet. That shut her the hell up.

Finally these slow ass girls turn up n we set off for the lake. I ask em if they ever been in a Porsche before and they are like "hell no, our boyfriends drive cheap ass mustangs" and im grinning n sh1t at the thought of those pussies wondering where the **** their girlfriends have got to for the night.

Turned up at the lake, break out the jack, downed a couple of bottles to get a goodbuzz going. I take my top off to get some sun on my swoled chest n abs and the girls come running over and ar e like "ohhh"""wow, i bet you could kick anyones ass" and im like "hell yeah, i mangled your pussy assed football team just last year, ruined a couple guys careers that night" and theyre like "oh yeah, we heard about that, one guy killed himself when he couldnt play football no more" right about then i spit my beer out, laughing n sh1t. Im like " thats some funny assed sh1t."

These girls are about ready to jump my ass when i hear some car pulling up, turn around and see a cop car, some skinny b1tch with a badge gets out and walks over. Straihght away hes inmy face, thinks he can talk sh1t cause hes got a gun, "wtf you doing with these minors" so i tell him to mind his ****ing business or hes gonna get mangled. Crew comes running over, right about now hes facing a good 2000lbs of muscle, so he starts to turn pussy telling me hes gonna call backup so im thinking "**** this" and took a swing at his face. Heard his face bone crakc, went down like a b1tch. Crews stomping on his radio, shut that sh1t up. I tell the girls to get me another beer while i handle business.

Robbed thaqt cop of his gun n clothes, cuffed his naked ass to a pole. Checked out his car, aint nothing to steal so we rolled it into the lake. Police aint never gonna find it, probably wash up in China or some sh1t.

Took the girls back to my place, gave em a treat gettin with my strong assed self. Damn christm,as came early for these girls. That pig musta woke up this morning thinking he still dreaming..