#1
This is my third song and is the first to include a solo. Enjoy!

EDIT: Updated Version in post below.
Last edited by Jamoose at Feb 29, 2008,
#2
It's good but just very repetitive. I understand you'll put lyrics etc in but this song would really benefit from some subtle changes to some of the riffs. The first riff goes on way too long without any form of change, and as a consequence, a good riff becomes boring. The second riff suffers in the same way. It's good but outstays it's welcome. Bar 53-57 is good but come 59 it becomes brilliant. Suddenly the odd rhythms just click and the harmonies work really well. Best part of the song. 77-80 works well first time but the repeat kills it. Breakdown does it's job well before the solo - good stuff

Now for me solos are a big thing, and for a first one it's not bad but there are a few things that I'd recommend to improve it. First off, the rhythm in the first 4 bars is exactly the same as the chord progression. This works well sometimes, but only used sparingly. Here it is just bland running up and down a scale. Mix it up with some shorter and longer notes, make the solo stick out, 116 is good though. Because you changed the note length later on, the second half of the solo is far superior to the first. Also, it's quite a basic solo but it does work here (personal preference, i prefer more technical solos with weird techniques). The one thing that I think does "make" a solo is throwing in some bends and slides. When used properly, these simple techniques really add a different feel to it.

But yeah, it's good, if a little rough around the edges in places. Just edit in a few changes and you're sorted.

Crit mine? http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=791178
#4
Here's an updated version, it's now shorter because i've cut most of the repetitive bits, as long as generally making the song sound a lot more varied. The solo is changed as well. Enjoy!
Attachments:
UpdatedMetalcore.zip
Last edited by Jamoose at Feb 29, 2008,
#5
Nice riffs, sound like amon amarth sometimes. The three guitars fit toghether very well.
A bit too repetitive, but with a singer i dont think it would be a problem.
The drum was varied, inventive but too much "crash" snares.
Well, good job 8/10
#6
Hi Jamoose.
Instead of explaining it in words, I mocked up a quick revision of some of your riffs, how I'd play them.

Your intro/main melody is interesting, but I've felt the note choice was a bit off, I shifted it to other scale tones.
Your, what is it, prechorus ? was really nice, and I changed it to a timing which I think would fit the flow better. Added a standart riff in front of it to break up the repetition.

Also you had a really nice chunky riff at the end of your old song version, it's apparently gone now (slightly reworked into bar 49-52 maybe ?). I thought that riff was really good, and had potential to become the main verse riff of your song - it had the right dynamics, wasn't too melodic (keep the verse riffs simple so the melodic chorus/break riffs stand out much more). The verse riff you have now is nice but kinda too weak, I don't feel any power behind it - maybe redo it into a less prominent prechorus riff with a more meatier drumpattern ?
Attachments:
riffig878UGJamooseMetalcore.zip