#1
this is my song burnt with the band solvent state

Come again anytime
I'll be seeing you anyways
Another statistic of the hundred million souls already here
Comfort won't be an issue
You'll be to busy anyways
Dealing with the dangers that await you here
You'll only know fear

Blood stains the ground
Dripping all around
Trying to breath but only suffocating
This is not air
Can barely move to dim to see
Suicidal but death flees
No relief around you see
I can see your thoughts
I know what you think

Reguritating memories just to get me out of my mind
Longing solace that I can never find
I don't think I am dreaming
But it would help to get me away from you
Can't even think in my own mind

Travest awaits you
Permanent torment is ahead
You see I didn't forsake you
Equal pain for every man
No one left behind
I take what I can get
Your more than welcome here so feel free to drop on in

This is my house
Might as well get used to it
You'll be staying around for awhile
Don't mind the heat
You'll get used to it
Forevers just awhile

You might not be to liked but it's okay
At least your somewhere

Burnt once again
To live alone we must be a beast or a god, says Aristotle, leaving out the third case: One must be both, a philosopher.
-Freidrich Nietzsche

-The Candle Burns At Both EndsX=X
#2
this is crap. i like waht your meaning it, but its to straight forward. leave room for the reader to wonder. also use more metaphors and similies. also more complex words wouldn't hurt. plus noting flows. if you were going for it to rhyme you need to work on it.
keep trying you will get it eventually.

c4c
#3
if you want to hear how it sounds go to myspace.com/solventstate
To live alone we must be a beast or a god, says Aristotle, leaving out the third case: One must be both, a philosopher.
-Freidrich Nietzsche

-The Candle Burns At Both EndsX=X