For the hurting... From the wounded
Moved and inspired I wrote and recorded this last night.
Small mistakes here and there, but as some of you know, I live by passion over perfection.
To those who watch, thank you. You help this song mean something, even if it doesn't mean it to you...

Overall I really enjoyed your composition, had a really nice Ron Thal/Brian Carroll tone to it. However, I do (as always) have a few suggestions to make. First off, I greatly enjoyed the intro and found it rather moving, from the title I expected something a little more, for lack of a better word, dark.

However after the lead comes in I feel that your playing (while technically well done) takes somewhat away from the instrumental. To me, (just my opinion) it sounded like you were playing more to hit notes rather than from emotion, I felt that it complimented the piece on a technical plane, rather than an emotional one. Although I find this change and become more emotionally charged later in the song, and eventually fades out very well. Only problem I have with the ending, was with the lead returning I felt that it ended fine with the backing guitar, and the lead was more ostentatious then complimentary.

Still, it was a great piece, really enjoyed it. If you work more on it tell me so I can hear it again.

Keep jamming,

Last edited by Don't Panic Ok? at Feb 26, 2008,
Awesome crit man, I really appreciate you going in depth with it. Firstly, I am glad you enjoyed it!
Secondly, I can totally relate to every point you made. I did this song kinda on the fly, and just ran with it, and hear several things that I will end up doing with it, many of which you have suggested.
At the stage it's in, I just wanted to capture the moments as I wrote what I felt into song.
I will definitely post back once something more final has been done to it.
Again, thank you.
Hmm, for me this was a song that tiptoed right on the thin line between 'melodic' and 'cheesy'. Don't take it as a put-down necessarily, after all 'Always With Me...' and 'Whispering A Prayer', for example, are the height of cheesiness: but bloody fantastic songs nonetheless.

Anyway, I really enjoyed that little instrumental - the tone is spot-on and the arrangement is great, though there were one or two bits which seemed to meander a little, especially around 0:40 to 0:50 (ish). It might have been a good idea to more than one guitar tone, as the dynamics of the track were a bit too flat to sustain my interest. I barely need bother pointing out the guitar playing is excellent, and the tone works well in the mix though I usually prefer thick, smooth tones for instrumentals.

As an 'on implulse' track, I've think you managed to capture a rough snapshot of how you were feeling at the time - which is all music's about at the end of the day I guess....
Thank you Kyle, I really appreciate your crit and kind words as well. And I get what you are saying about the borderline cheese, lol, and I don't take it as much of a put down as would some. I'm really thankful for the constructive views here!

it's such a nice change from"zOMG, u suxorz! I can play waaaay better thn that!!11! lol" that I started to become accustomed to on YouTube and the like.
I want people to point out my rough spots as I am a self taught musician.

At any rate, thanks again!
Any time man, I think most people wanna hear something a little more detailed than 'wow thats amazing!!!!lolzor!'.
I got bored of hearing 'uhh yeah, that sounds fine' at soundchecks and stuff, it really doesn't help at all (well, apart from a quick ego boost )