#1
This is my first song i have written and i have a chorus for it but i dont have anything else. Plz give me some ideas for a verse and bridge possibly.
Here is my chorus:

I need you
I miss you
I really want you in my life
I love you
I can't go on without you
It's your love that keeps me alive


Also i would like to make the endings of the third and sixth lines of the chorus ryhme so if u can give me some word choices that would be great.
C4C
#2
woah. thats a lot of cliches. first of all you might want to reword some of that. like maybe put in some metaphors, since those grab peoples attention the most. then you can work some more on it.
#3
Hm, I think your title is a thread violation. How about you find a good title you think describes the song, and then repost it. This will be closed. I'll crit it when you repost though, so don't worry.

*reported*
#4
This may as well be a Christian Rock chorus.

Honestly, to be blunt, there's nothing worth saving. I could pull something like this out of the air in a few seconds. Observe:

"I love you girl.
You rock my world.
Your love gets me high.
Without you I wanna die!
I feel so cold.
It's getting old.
I feel like I'm drowning.
Inside I'm frowning!
Girl your my life.
Don Knotts played Barney Fife."

You see? It's easy.
Feel free to use those.
Poor advice.
Last edited by stellar_legs at Feb 26, 2008,
#5
Quote by stellar_legs
This may as well be a Christian Rock chorus.

Honestly, to be blunt, there's nothing worth saving. I could pull something like this out of the air in a few seconds. Observe:

"I love you girl.
You rock my world.
Your love gets me high.
Without you I wanna die!
I feel so cold.
It's getting old.
I feel like I'm drowning.
Inside I'm frowning!
Girl your my life.
Don Knotts played Barney Fife."

You see? It's easy.
Feel free to use those.


seriously use that last line.