#1

Book is nearly full
of wasted words and beer stains
cascading gently
hold the pages above you and
perhaps they will fall into your head -
without any of the effort of reading.
Don't need your eyes anymore
you can touch-type after all
so seal the holes
for good
fingerprints are your new retinas
fingernails are you irises
knuckles are your pupils
dialate.
Braille becomes poetry becomes pictures
becomes that new
hole in your head
I pour myself into
selflessly.
Resting on your brain
scribbling notes about body parts
and all that.




love is a dog from hell.



#2
Hm. Firstly - the blue color hurts x) But that's not an issue connected directly with the poem. The poem itself is really good, and I like a lot your use of metaphores, also how you say that the parts of the hand becomes something else and more important to blind people.

Two things I didn't like - the last line (and all that), I think it could be better. Just think about it some more. Second thing - maybe you shouldn't use the word 'Braille' at all? The poem is suggestive enough, and the word Braille seems to stand out as an isle of straight-forwardness in the sea of poetry. Just my point of view.

Wanna Crit4Crit? I want to gather some more opinions about my song, and sadly it's on the second page already :|
#5
Quote by xiblackoutix
This was great. I'm still pondering, but if i'm correct; this is about a blind poet.


c4c


Ish. It's more about pouring pages of poetry into a hole in someone's head.




love is a dog from hell.