#1
hey guys, so i out together a video of this acoustic song i have been working on bit by bit for a while. song wise, i think its very near complete. still looking for feedback though
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCH2J2nCr4M
sorry its a video, if you prefer audio, but its the only and best method for me to record right now.
as always i give crits back and more. i mean if your crit is less than 6 syllables total then i probably wont be too inclined to do a huge write up on yours, but i do crit everyone!
#2
Good stuff here. Very nice melodies; I like the kinda bipolar feel with all the happy and sad sounding parts. I'm trying to learn fingerpicking myself as well so I'm not exactly the best person to comment on your technique but it seems that you're not using your index finger too much. All in all, very clean and accurate playing and good songwriting. Keep it up!

Check out mine? http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=792417
#3
This one didn't work
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The end of an era
#4
gave me kind of the Opeth kind of feel with a John Mayer kind of sound and speed, if that makes any sense...good combination though.

There was probably only 2 notes that I thought sounded out of place, and I'm too lazy to go and find them again, but who knows, they're probably theoretically correct and in a key i've never heard of.

I'd say this is pretty sweet, good job!
#6
hm... Sorry but it's boring. It's not a complete disaster. problem is that you're repeating the same pattern thousand times. Also you are not using your forefinger...That's bad... People are giving you only compliments so I thougt you need a critic
#7
hey thanks for the crits everyone, ill try to return them all tonight.

stratwizard and dragon slayer both noticed i wasnt using my forefinger in this song. that is not actually a deficiency technique wise, just that most of the notes played are only on three strings(A, G, B) so its natural to play them that way.
yes this is basically just one pattern of picking for the whole song, i kind of wrote it for an acoustic go between song, kind of like Dee(rhoades) or Embryo(sabbath)
anyways thanks for all the crits!

Quote by 812many
Wow, sweet fingerpicking. The whole feel to it was pretty consistent, i liked it. It kept my attention, which is saying alot. Ha ha ha. Very clean sounding, very mellow, a nice feel to it. Im impressed, really no complaints. Mind giving my stuff a listen?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/newthread.php?do=newthread&f=51


thanks for the crit, but your link doesnt work. ill check to see which is your newest crit ok?
Last edited by diablo_man at Mar 4, 2008,
#8
Hey man I thought it was pretty good. I believe with your skills you can squeeze a little more out of it...the important thing is the melody is there and its good. Like dudey said it sounds like a couple notes are outta place, nothing severe though.

I just wrote a really, really simple piece that has a repeating pattern which is something I usually try and stay away from but sometimes the music just simply calls for it. Its a bummer you dont sing it, would really give this another dimension.

Oh yeah try a couple different tempos slow it down just a little and then try it sped up just a little and see what happens. I think slowing it down might allow you to throw another bass note in here and there and that might be cool.
If you check my profile song please leave a comment on any part.....THANKS!!!
#9
hey thanks for the crit on my song!
OK first off your song, it was very good I liked all of it,maybe you can use this as an intro to a heavy song, it might work well with that might not.At one point in the song you do a Blackbird Fingerpick Technique,which I like Ive always liked the style. In the end Ill rate this song 9/10 since its not complete and maybe if you add vocals it might be better,might be worse. Good Job.
#10
well done with the chord choice and variation, i felt as though it coulda used some type of rhythm change if ya know what i mean. maybe throw in some quick leads with an open string or something, maybe to break away from the melody a little bit. i could see this with a nice solo on top, that would be pretty neat too. its cool what you have now, i feel as though it could be expanded more.

cfc? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=813584
dude, what about an actual solo in death metal instead of that poof from linkin park. Think of Pulse of the Maggots - Bed Of Razors


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#11
I really like the bass notes. But I'm already noticing it gets a bit repetitive. Try to mix up the fingerpicking pattern a bit. But other than that, I'm honestly going to ask you tab it out. Because with some more work, this song can go from good to great. Oh, and I like your guitar's tone.

Crit mine? http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=813804
#12
I did really like this! I think it has a lot of potential, especially if it was recorded in good quality. There were a few little parts that seemed out of place, at say about 26 seconds in. I mean, they worked, but I would have just preferred you just stay on that chord. Really nice song overall. Definitely my style of music. thanks a lot for the comment on mine.