#1
Leave some Ink, and your Link and I'll read and get back to you on yours
--

On the tip of the tongue;
Lost in my mind's corridors.
There's a broken back horse
With too heavy a load.
Captainless ship,
Or shipless captain?
Dehydration at sea....
Irony.

Seperate the Sky from Soil:
One holds a harbour's hope
The other, some labourer's toil
But are they different...
Oh, are they differ-ent?

Cinema- Image screen.
Subjective Iris.
Poets purple page.
Love and Rage.
Should we bite the hand of G-d,
Or the one that feeds?
I mean, sweet Jesus..
I got needs.

Seperate Images from Words:
One clumsily fumbles truth.
The other is just blurred.
But are they different,
Oh, are they differ-ent?

Let's quote the book of revelations:

"Bedroom eyes
Turn off time:-
Humid rhymes
Caffeine and ecstacy.
I've been out of my mind
Wasting my time
Truth is in my arms
Its plain to see.
Through twisted sheets,
Lover's steam,
And muffled screams...
Yeh, ecstacy."
Last edited by hiddeninromance at Feb 28, 2008,
#2
Quote by hiddeninromance
This was almost called 'Sexual Healing'.
Leave some Ink, and your Link and I'll read and get back to you on yours when I can...I'm pretty busy sometimes what with term-time papers being due...so do not fret if I take a couple of days...just message to remind me...or something.
And interpretations are welcome...
--

On the tip of the tongue;
Lost in my mind's corridors.
There's a broken back horse
With too heavy a load.
Captainless ship,
Or shipless captain?
Dehydration at sea....
Irony.

This is a great way to start, this really made me want to read the entire piece.

Seperate the Sky from Soil:
One holds a harbour's hope
The other, some labourer's toil
But are they different...
Oh, are they differ-ent?

This was intresting to say the least, men i loved this stanza "One holds a harbour's hope/ the other, some labourer's toil" veru impressive.

Cinema- Image screen.
Subjective Iris.
Poets purple page.
Love and Rage.
Should we bite the hand of G-d,
Or the one that feeds?
I mean, sweet Jesus..
I got needs.

Exellent.

Seperate Images from Words:
One clumsily fumbles truth.
The other is blurred when clear.
But are they different,
Oh, are they differ-ent?

I liked the use of oxymoron in this stanza, nicely done.

Let's quote the book of revelations:

"Bedroom eyes
Turn off time:-
Humid rhymes
Caffeine and ecstacy.
I've been out of my mind
Wasting my time
Truth is in my arms
It's plain to see.
Through twisted sheets,
Lover's steam,
And muffled screams...
Yeh, ecstacy."

Nice ending stanza but i didn't enjoy the 'Yeh, ectstacy' maybe 'cause i didn't seem to fit with the rest of this piece, but apart from that this was good but didn't seem to carry the weight that the other stanzas did.


Well done my friend.
#3
thanks man, I get the feeling you are not a fan so much....
I just felt like being vague, writing more stream of consciousness..
everything on that is whats on my mind at the moment.
quite happy I got it down in some form of order
x