#1
You know those jokes where people loose limbs?
What do you call a guy with no arms or legs on you're doorstep? Matt.
What do you call a dead guy in the ocean? Bob

Post up some more!
#3
Oh, I think I get it...Let me try...

So...what do you call a guy with no arms or legs that is serving you drinks?

Gerald!!!


Did I do it right?
The.
#6
What do you call a guy with no hands?
Handless.
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#9
...

What do you call a giant?

Craig Jr/My penis..

PENIS JOKES FTW!!


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#10
A man is walking down a road, simply going about his life, when he happens upon a woman with no arms or legs, sitting on a bench, weeping. He asks her what's wrong, and she says "I've never kissed a man before". He feels sorry for her, and kisses her.

The woman becomes even more distraught. The man, now a bit annoyed, asks her what's wrong, and she says "I've never been felt up by a man before". So he reluctantly feels her up.

The man turns to leave the woman, but she starts howling, tears streaming down her face. He turns back and asks "what do you want now?", and she says "I've never been fucked by a man before".

The man picks her up and hurls her over the railings into the sea. He puts his hands to his mouth and shouts after her- "You're fucked now, love."
VENUSIAN
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#11
Quote by TheQuailman
Sorry I didn't get those.


Sorry but your stupid if you didn't get those.
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#13
damn, my dad used to tell these jokes. they're so lame that they're actually border-line amusing.

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall?
art!

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in the sea?
buoy
(i think my dad wanted it to sound more like boy? this one has always sort of confused me)
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#15
One I seem to remember reading in The Broons or Oor Wullie years ago.

What do you call a (Scottish) boy without a dog?

Douglas.
#16
Man: Why do you look so sad?
Woman: The doctor told me to take a pill every day for the rest of my life.
Man: So?
Woman: I only got 4 pills..
Tonight I kill your fucking face.
I killed your face.


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#19
what do you call a guy with no penis?

richard.
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wash his wrists with some good old ethanol, that'll teach 'm
#20
What do you call a guy with no ears?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
I'M GOING NUCKING FUTS!

#22
These are old

What do you call a buried cow? Ground Beef.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.

What do you call a dear with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.

What do you call someone hiding in the bushes? Russell.
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#25
Quote by chubbychunks
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
Derek.

What do you call a Fish with no eyes?


A FSSSSSSHHHHHHHH


#26
What do you call a man with a lance in his head? Lance
What do you call a man with 10 lances in his head? Lancelot
What do you call a man with 100 lances in his head? Dead
#27
Well this one can only be done in person for the full effect,

Say "Thumbs up for War Amps" and hold out your hand making a fist and hiding your thumb behind your fingers instead of giving a thumbs up.
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#28
Quote by jeremessmore
what are the gay irish mens names?


joe fitzpatrick and patrick fitzjoe


That was terrible, it goes "What do you call the two gay Irishmen? Patrick FitJerrald and Jerrald FitzPatrick"
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#29
A man goes into a public toilet and is about to urinate when a guy stands beside him. It is at this point he realises the man doesn't have any arms.

"Could you help me with my zipper please?" the disabled man asks politely.

Feeling awkward, but sympathetic, the man undoes the guys zipper.

The disabled man stands there, wriggling for a few seconds, then sighs and asks. "Could you do me a favour and pull my trousers down for me?"

Once again, the man feels very uncomfortable but leans forward and tugs at the man's trousers.

The disabled man fidgets and says, "I hate to ask, but could you please take my penis out for me?"

The man grimaces, but feeling very sorry for the guy, he gingerly reaches in and helps free the man's penis from his boxer shorts, and then steps back in shock. The man's penis is crusted with scabs and pus and smells like rotting meat.

When the disabled man is finished peeing, he says to the guy. "Thanks for helping me. I really appreciate it."

The guy starts washing his hands and says, "Uh...no problem. If you don't mind me asking- what's wrong with your dick?"

"I don't know." the guy replies, pulling his arms free of his jacket. "But I ain't fuckin touching it."
[quote="'[x"]Huffy[x]']^ This man knows everything.

Seriously, don't even try and question him, he'll rip your face off with his awesomeness alone.
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@ yet another win post from Vince. Kudos to you, sir.
#30
What do you call the man with no arms or no legs?

Use the searchbar, n00b.
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