#1
I have always viewed the pit as a greasy fat guy sitting in a recliner who always has the right, demoralizing, humiliating thing to say to whatever you have to talk about. Haha jk lol

So anyway i have to write a Life Metaphore poem...example...."Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna' get..." except these poems have to be about 9 lines long. Can somone help me please. thanks
Quote by Caustic
If I didn't cuss so much, I'd be illiterate!


Quote by Will_Minus
Stupid people do stupid things. Don't be stupid, stupid.
#3
Have these poems that me and my friends wrote in school last year- I think you need them more than me.

LOVE.

love is like violent rape
love is like a freshly baked jew
love is like a partridge in a pear tree
love is like a fresh skoda
love feels like stubbing your toe on a cupboard
love feels like stapling your foot to a wall
love is like a very old piece of cheese
love is like someone flushing the toilet after you
live is like hoeing a garden
love is like a strategically placed puddle
love is like lost monopoly money
love is like craig turner
love is like giving away your last crystal in crystal maze

HATE.

hate is like throwing an old man's walking stick across the road
hate is like Tom from myspace
hate is like having a very long straw which takes ages to drink from
hate is like a urinal which is too far up the wall
hate is like a rabbit catching syphillis
hate is a snake
hate is buffy the vampire slayer
hate is walking up a down escalator
hate is like watching your best friend hang himself on webcam
hate is being raped by your little brother
hate is when satan loses his carebear
hate is like having sex with a loaf of crusty white bread
hate is really hot seatbelt ends

HAPPY.

happy smells like burnt toast
happy is Biff's brother
happy is a dwarf
happy is to willy as willy is to ben
hapy is watching a small person trying to reach a high shelf
happiness is like a swan farting
happy is like bondage with an elf
happy is blue
happy is like getting your fingers stuck in a baby wipes canister
happiness & cyanide
happiness is watching dale singing along to hero
happy is watching bingham lying on a table
happu is the fonz
happy is the cookie monster recieving lots of cookies
happiness is your mother falling down the stairs
VENUSIAN
FB SC BC TW
Patterns In The Ivy present ethnicity on an intriguing and dedicated level. ~Ambient Exotica
A mesmeric melange of yearning voice, delicate piano and carefully chosen samples. ~Lost Voices
#4
Life is like a pokeball. Mainly because a pokeball is spherical in shape and Earth is too.
Quote by denizenz
I'll logic you right in the thyroid.

Art & Lutherie
#6
How dare you, we were hellaz nice to you in that one thread, we didn't demean you at all. That's it, I'm making you participate in porn.

Life is like Jerry Springer. Only stupid people like it.

Good?
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#7
None of these are metaphors, but some are still funny. If it needs to be metaphorical, I would recommend not having the word "like" in there. Anywhere. At all.
Quote by AAAAAAAAAARGH
Sex is over-rated. I prefer Pokemon Diamond.
#10
Quote by Sora 01


Sorry i really had to use that today

No. No you did not.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#11
Quote by Vale_Deo
None of these are metaphors, but some are still funny. If it needs to be metaphorical, I would recommend not having the word "like" in there. Anywhere. At all.


Real metaphors are subtle and kick you in the ass. Similes use "like" and "as" for comparison.

Metaphors are pokemon.
Quote by denizenz
I'll logic you right in the thyroid.

Art & Lutherie
#12
Quote by rabidguitarist
happy is like getting your fingers stuck in a baby


Sorry, I just have to sig that
Quote by Bubonic Chronic
Cradle of Filth is gay, and you are absolutely, positively not allowed to be gay in black metal.

It's kind of like being black in Alabama. Don't do it.
#13
Life is like being kicked in the groin by johnny wilkinson
Life is like being french
Life is like being a /b/ tard
Life is like being alcoholic with brief moments of sobriety
Life is like being a Zune
Life is like being an Encore
Life is liking coldplay
Life is like disliking Jeff Buckley
Life is being shouted at in chat while you're type this


If its too bleak enough then add the word kitten to the end of everything
#16
Quote by IHATECHILDREN
Life is like my penis.

Long, hard, and full of a strange white substance.

Do I win?

If this was a contest for who can tell the tallest tale, then yes. But it's not. So you lose.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#17
Quote by Jack Off Jill
How dare you, we were hellaz nice to you in that one thread, we didn't demean you at all. That's it, I'm making you participate in porn.

Life is like Jerry Springer. Only stupid people like it.

Good?



haha i know i was just kiddin you were very nice to me thank you
Quote by Caustic
If I didn't cuss so much, I'd be illiterate!


Quote by Will_Minus
Stupid people do stupid things. Don't be stupid, stupid.
#18
Quote by Ichikurosaki
The pit is like a paedophile, it's just plain bad.

Did i help?

quoted for truth.

Quote by hazzmatazz
youmakemesmile...

Quote by sebastian_96
Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.