#1
So I'm in 10th grade and had to write a sonnet for a project grade. It didnt have to be perfect form, but I wrote mine in perfect form for 10 extra points (10 syllables every line, iambic pentameter, ababcdcdefefgg, etc.) I want to know what you guys think .
I do not have a bad life, a bad relationship, or anything, but I thought it would be easy to write, because to me, poems of sadness are easier to write. So here is my perfectly Shakespearean sonnet! Enjoy

"The Heart of Icarus"


Our love, like Icarus, fell from the sky
Wings of wax burned by the hate of the sun
Ignorance was bliss when he had to fly
And for me learning that you weren’t the one

Fate fought to stop me, it hadn’t a chance
It bit and it tore, but it was a fake
You came along, with disaster you danced
I was the Eden, and you were the snake

You corrupted the life I used to live
Leaving it blazing, burning it to ash
I always thought love was what you would give
But your lies stung like a whip and its lash

Forever I thought was what you had said
But here I stand scarred, you left me for dead
If your life was a song, would you sing my name?
#2
Our love, like Icarus, fell from the sky
Wings of wax burned by the hate of the sun
Ignorance was bliss when he had to fly
And for me learning that you weren’t the one

I extremely love how you brought icarus into this, im a greek mytholagy freak. the last line on the other hand seemed really forced i think there is a possibility that you could re write it or edit it to make it better

Fate fought to stop me, it hadn’t a chance
It bit and it tore, but it was a fake
You came along, with disaster you danced
I was the Eden, and you were the snake

'but it was a fake' really does not flow with that line. besides that i liked it

You corrupted the life I used to live
Leaving it blazing, burning it to ash
I always thought love was what you would give
But your lies stung like a whip and its lash

this one i really liked not much to say

Forever I thought was what you had said
But here I stand scarred, you left me for dead

i really liked this your teacher will most likely love it as well good luck

c4c