#1
that he's marrying the wrong person? I have a friend who is getting married. Nobody likes his bride to be. Everyone sees that she is wrong, but my friend didn't have a relationship for an extremely long time before this girl. Kind of a serious question I've been thinking about for awhile. Just thought I'd look for some outside perspective.
"Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example." - Mark Twain

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing; it was here first." - Samuel Langhornne Clemens
#3
He's not just some guy that I met, he's someone I've been friends with since elementary school.
"Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example." - Mark Twain

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing; it was here first." - Samuel Langhornne Clemens
#4
you can't tell him he's marrying the wrong person. just because his friends don't like her, doesn't mean she's wrong for him - just that she'd be wrong for them. but she's not with you or them, she's with him. if she's not right for him, he'll find out the hard way, but there is no way you can pass judgement on him.

if it all ends up going tits up, be his friend and be there for him. telling him who is or isn't right for him, however, is NOT being his friend.
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#5
well, when my mate was going after this gal that i kinda had a thing for before (nothing serious and it was like 3 years previously), he was getting quite far before i sent him a text saying that she's bad, you can do better etc, not sure how he was gonna react. he replied with a huge thank you and nothing went any further, which was unexpected.

but marriage is a whole different kettle of fish. he should appreciate your input as your friend but ultimately that's all you can do. why is he marrying the wrong person to you anyway?
"And after all of this, I am amazed...

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#6
if hes already getting married you cant do nothing i think. but if ure right about ther girl he'll realize sooner or later and dump her.
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#7
he won't take it well if you say anything, no matter how you say it. don't interfere. if he is making a mistake, it's his mistake to make and you'll just have to be there for him if it falls through.
from daylight...
...into darkness
#9
Quote by esther_mouse
you can't tell him he's marrying the wrong person. just because his friends don't like her, doesn't mean she's wrong for him - just that she'd be wrong for them. but she's not with you or them, she's with him. if she's not right for him, he'll find out the hard way, but there is no way you can pass judgement on him.

if it all ends up going tits up, be his friend and be there for him. telling him who is or isn't right for him, however, is NOT being his friend.


That's what I figure. And dude, this chick is a total bitch to him, he's just afraid he'll end up alone. You're right, and I'm sure it will go "titts up." We have a pool as to how long it will last before he realizes. It's just sad to watch a buddy go down in flames.
"Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example." - Mark Twain

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing; it was here first." - Samuel Langhornne Clemens
#10
Saving Silverman... kidnap her.
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#11
But if you tell him shes wrong for him, he may look for things that are wrong with her, and end up breaking it off for no real reason. Just be supportive of him, dont create a rift over it.
Quote by LinkManDX
That's it, everybody go home, thread won by [sam].
#12
Quote by Sol9989
well, when my mate was going after this gal that i kinda had a thing for before (nothing serious and it was like 3 years previously), he was getting quite far before i sent him a text saying that she's bad, you can do better etc, not sure how he was gonna react. he replied with a huge thank you and nothing went any further, which was unexpected.

but marriage is a whole different kettle of fish. he should appreciate your input as your friend but ultimately that's all you can do. why is he marrying the wrong person to you anyway?


The girl just treats him like he's a moron. The only reason she's with him is because he has a stable/respectable job. That is strange that your buddy actually trusted your word. I think I'm just going to let this thing go. A bunch of us were going to talk with him a few months ago, but just didn't, now I'm pretty sure it's too late anyways. This girl is brutal though. She even acts like this infront of his parents. That's pretty bad when his own parents are just like ,"WTF!?"
"Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example." - Mark Twain

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing; it was here first." - Samuel Langhornne Clemens
#13
you see, i disagree with mostof the pplin this thread. i think you should approach him, maybe meet him down the pub or something, just you two and say something along the lines of:

look, the weddings coming up. and i know you havent had a relationshipin a long time. but ive been thinking: this girl isnt right for you. ive know you since elemetory school. and imnot trying to rain on your parade. but i really dont think she's the one.

then it depends how the convo goes, buti thinkyou should end it by reminding him thatll you still help if he wants to go ahead with it, and its his decision.

as a friend, i think its your duty to be honest and come out with it. its better to try and warnhim before hand then if it goes wrong he hears that you did nothing.
#14
Quote by esther_mouse
you can't tell him he's marrying the wrong person. just because his friends don't like her, doesn't mean she's wrong for him - just that she'd be wrong for them. but she's not with you or them, she's with him. if she's not right for him, he'll find out the hard way, but there is no way you can pass judgement on him.

if it all ends up going tits up, be his friend and be there for him. telling him who is or isn't right for him, however, is NOT being his friend.



Ehh, not really. My brother definitely married the wrong girl, and I've tried to tell him that, but she has changed him. He's miserable, and now the bitch is pregnant, so he's screwed. I'd just tell him now.

P.S. This girl is the first piece of ass my bro ever had, which largely affected his decision imo.
Quote by Teh Traineez0rz
yeah was weird cause she liked us both but she loved him and for some reason she let me know beforehand.

i just wanted her poon and she wanted me to have her poon.

so i had myself some poon.
#15
Quote by divid3d
he won't take it well if you say anything, no matter how you say it. don't interfere. if he is making a mistake, it's his mistake to make and you'll just have to be there for him if it falls through.

+1

Wisest thing a moderator has said round here for a LONG time
#16
Quote by Vermintide
+1

Wisest thing a moderator has said round here for a LONG time

i don't know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult
from daylight...
...into darkness
#17
1 Take photo of bride having affair (photoshop idk)
2 Give to him
3 Wedding is off
4 ??????
5 Your in mexico with Mr T
#18
Quote by divid3d
i don't know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult

consider how long it's been since you last posted then decide

Life is there to be lived, mistakes are there to be made.

If she makes him happy then let him go for it.

If it doesn't work out there's always divorce.
#19
How old is your friend?

Why is he getting married? I think the only thing you can do is be honest about it to him. These guys are right though in that, you may never know exactly what he wants or whats good for him.

I'd do something like what slann said, in fact I've had to do this with one of my friends but for slightly different reasons(he was marrying because he got her pregnant and I don't agree with that).

What I did was one night when we were at a drum'n'bass show I just started asking him about why he wants to get married. I had a bit of leverage with him as he had already married/divorced once and he married that girl because he got her pregnant too. So i kind of broke it down for him, explained how whipped he was with the last girl and how much it broke him down when she got tired of him and left. It was kind of a rough conversation, just choose your words carefully and don't be accusing/poking fun at your buddy. Try to stay in the mindset of "I want what's best for my bro" and I think you'll be alright.

In my case after talking it through with my friend, I still disagreed with their initial reasoning to get married, but I had a much better understanding of where he was coming from and I think he also got few things out that he had been keeping in that made him feel better about the whole thing and life in general.

If you guys are friends from elementary, it shouldn't be much of an issue as long as you are honest and don't throw out ultimatums or insults. Remember he loves this girl enough to marry her, if you start attacking her personally it won't end up good.

Good luck bro, remember everyone gets to live their own life and make their own mistakes.
#20
Try to get along with the girl and stop being so close minded?
You are like a hurricane
There's calm in your eye.
And I'm gettin' blown away
To somewhere safer
where the feeling stays.
I want to love you but
I'm getting blown away.
#21
if its because you and his friends dont like her, then how is that the wrong person for him
#24
is this proper marriage or sixth grade marriage?
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#25
Ask his parents what they think.?...i dono its a hard thing to chose matey
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