#1
Well, I made this a while back. It's about a dream I had.

It was a dark, gloomy night...(I no it's cliche, but i can't control my dreams) A family was driving down the road, and they got into an accident. I think you can tell where the crash is.
Only the daughter was injured and they took her to the hospital. She was hurt so bad that she couldn't communicate with anyone in any way, and she wanted somebody to take her off life support so she could be out of her misery. Her parents eventually decided to let her go and when she died she ended up going to hell (don't know why). The keyboard interlude isn't really relevant; I don't remember why I put it in there, but it sounds cool. (I think)

...yep

Also I made this after I realized how cool a bass guitar can actually be. On my first song (Metal, in my sig) there were only like 2 parts where you could actually tell there was a bass. The bass, sadly, isn't too loud in the MIDI recording. The fade out (also due to MIDI problems) isn't very good.

Well, thats it. Give me your opinions.

Should have another song up in a few minutes.

EDIT: I just realized I left the vocals in, which i decided were awful and thought I deleted a long time ago. They're not on there anymore
Attachments:
Creepy Song.zip
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Last edited by Lord Of Donkeys at Feb 29, 2008,
#2
Good:
- Creepy clean guitar, reminds me of testament
- Very good as a metal intro(clean guitar and bass only)
- Nice basslines

Bad:
- Repetitive
- You can't turn a 3 chord progression into a song, no matter how good those 3 chords are. This would make an awesome intro, but as a song its weak.
- Synth/keys is an overkill. Too many instruments dude.

Suggestions:
- take your best stuff(riffs) and keep it as an intro to another song
- Add a lead guitar over it
- Have only 1 or two guitars(maybe 3) and a bass guitar for instruments

Rating: 6/10 overall(boredom) 8.5/10 for intro

Please Crit This
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Last edited by British_Steal at Feb 29, 2008,
#3
I think lyrics would make it less repetitive, but I can't really write them..so, yeah.
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#4
Sounds very pinkly smooth.

Which is good!

Maybe a bit repeatative? 7/10!
I deeply regret the 6661 in my username. Siiiigh. Damn you, 14 year old me, you edgy little bastard.
#5
thats outro is amazingly evil. one sugestion, in bar 68 when that clean guitar goes distorted, add somthing behind it to make it stronger
#6
first of of it sounds great, you're a great artist. and it sounds to me like a cross between Bodom and Meatloaf lmao. but again sounds great
Les Paul Standard w/ Fernandes Sustainer System, and an EMG 81 bridge pickup, VOX AC100 head and Marshall1960 cab with celestion greenbacks, Crybaby wah, and a Zakk Wylde Overdrive. Sounds like God.
#7
That was pretty damn cool. I thought the drums could use a little work though.
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