#1
So I've decided to start writing songs since I can play guitar well and sing decently and doing covers gets old after a while. I've only written like, 2 songs before, and they were a long time ago. Any help on this would be appreciated.

Please note when you help me, I only want suggestions on what to fix, not what to replace it with. I don't want to hear your ideas because then I'll want to use them. I want to come up with my own ideas, because that's how I learn. So just tell me what sounds bad and I'll try to come up with something to replace it with myself.

You're always there
You're everywhere
By my side
All the time

When I look away
Your eyes burn into the back of my head
It's eating me away
I love you
I guess

When I see you you see me first
When I touch you you're already there
When I love you what's left to love
What's left to love
Everything

And I know
Believe me I know
That you think the world of me
And I try
But it just doesn't feel right

There's no one here
It's empty there's nothing there
You're in the light but it's you I can't see
You're everywhere
But not to me

When I see you you see me first
When I touch you you're already there
When I love you what's left to love
What's left to love
Nothing

There is no love
There's only tolerance
And 'I tolerate you'
Doesn't make a good line
And I'm sorry, I tried
You're everywhere
I just can't help it
I'm sorry
Chances are no, I don't have any idea what I'm talking about.
#2
I didn't like in the chorus when it says "what's left to love" 2 times. It sounds weird to me. Maybe it was the way I read it but I think it would be better of with it just once.
#3
I agree. It sounds weird written down but I was hoping when I put it to music it would sound better. If it doesn't then I'll take it out.
Chances are no, I don't have any idea what I'm talking about.
#5
If you could give the rules the once over that'd be great. You can then repost this.

Thanks man.
THW
Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.