#1
This is a poem I came up with about a the downtown area of my city, aptly named after a bus, its got alot of well concepts in it i think, see if you can figure it out and let me know if its just terrible too..

The Twelve Downtown
Thats where all the clowns
gather round and round
to dance and frown

The curtain rises
Revealing no surprises
Of your character within
Or what I imagine that is

The clown quartet
Comes out at sunset
Separate yet discrete
In bars and on the streets

Misanthropy
Thats what all you mean to me
A failed society
Is it the same overseas

The Twelve Downtown
A spectacle indeed
A Nightmarish scene
Please, No encore for me
When the sun falls the moon rises...

My attempt at art lasted for an instant and then faded like a candle without oil...

When i get around to making more candles hopefully my art will return in a perfect form that all can appreciate.
#2
Dang your good at poetry, I really need to go get a book on it so I can write better. Honestly your right some of the lines are forced. Also I can see what you mean at points however the picture I'm trying to paint deals alot with clowns, "to dance and frown" I really wanted that to be more complete but I didnt want to add another line
When the sun falls the moon rises...

My attempt at art lasted for an instant and then faded like a candle without oil...

When i get around to making more candles hopefully my art will return in a perfect form that all can appreciate.