#2
Well done! I liked it a lot. Maybe not the most original style, but it has a unique sound to it, which is very good. I really like the outro and intro riff. Nice job with the transitions too, very well written. The bridge was the only part I didn't really like. The constant 12th fret on the high e string was kinda repetitive and annoying. Just change it up and maybe add a little lead solo in there or something. Btw, it sounded more like 6/8 time than it did 3/4. Just thought I'd point that out, not a problem, just pointing it out. That would be pretty neat. Overall, good sound, well organized and loved all the different tracks in there. 8.5/10

C4C?
http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=801049
#3
Quote by xxCHANCExx
The bridge was the only part I didn't really like. The constant 12th fret on the high e string was kinda repetitive and annoying. Btw, it sounded more like 6/8 time than it did 3/4.

@Chance - Look at the numbers for 6/8 and 3/4.... it's the same thing, just 6/8 measures are longer. 6/8 is conducted with 3 pulses, as if it was 3/4.

On topic:
I agree with Chance.. The Bridge could use some work.. It sounded good, but maybe change notes right before the repeat happens... But honestly, if there's anything going over that (lyrics, or just a scream or something) there's really no need to change it.

Measure 15 -- The rhythm guitar is a little overpowering, can't hear the clean chords that well.
Measure 19-22 -- The Rhodes' lower notes are very drowned out.. To the point that I wouldn't know what was happening with them if I hadn't hit solo and listened to it.
Measure 32 -- The Rhode's is drowned out again.
Interlude -- I think the pulsing chords on "lead guitar II" need to be brought down in the mix. You could just make them ghost notes and it'd be okay... I just think everyone gets the picture of them and is getting slightly annoyed with them by this point in the song.

I really liked the breakdown too.

Good job. =)
#4
that was really beatiful
great job on naming

everything souded great to me

the title however made me think of the used, and made me realize with some wierd feedback effects and outof sound things juxtaposed inthere this would sound positivly incredible

but as it is
nothing wrong
easily 10/10
great job

c4c?https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=13083954#post13083954
Quote by metul kult
You know when Attack Attack is ripping off your music, you're onto something


twitter: @victorstaygold
#5
Hi Thomaso.
Beautiful tab, lots of potential. I made a redux version, here's how I'd play it in a normal live Band-Setup (so sorry, no keys). Didn't got around making a vocal line, may be just screams anyway..

(GP5/Gp4/midi inside)
Attachments:
UG-Thomaso-Ailes-SelfProcBeaut.zip
#6
Good Lord, you have serious talent.

You managed to turn this into something so much cleaner and fluent, its amazing what little things can do for a piece. I'm honored to have you clean this up...hell, would it be alright with you if I took this version to my band and we tried a recording of it?

I changed the ending though, basically, I faded out everything but the lead guitar, which continued into it was playing the intro riff solo for a few measures then slowing it down to 65 BPM to end on an A note.

I think its a lovely effect but not significant enough to post an update.

Also, you read my mind completely with the delay. I planned on adding slight tube echo to the lead guitar in the recording process.
#7
thanks !

pretty much up until the first really metalcore'ish stuff (maybe second verse or so) comes, I could this totally see being played by At the Drive-In and the likes.

But I think you seriously have to make a decision: More "core" or less "core" ? You could take this in two different directions, the first being the aforemented ATDI, then cut out some of that "break"style stuff and expand on the melody and clean dynamics. The other direction is stuff like Funeral for a Friend et al, if so then keep the "metal"-tinged riffs, expand on the breakdowns and tighten up the clean stuff (as it distracts from the chugg-riffs), as I feel the song now tries to balance between those styles and doesn't quite achieve it (for 'core it lacks a bit balls, for indie it lacks a bit straightforwardness). Or maybe I overanalyze things again, most probably it'll sound alright if you add some screaming and some nice clean melodies on top of it (the old midi-dilemma, I suppose).

Another minor thing that I noticed, the breakdown part (bar 45-46) could be a) played twice (to keep the flow) and b) more importantly, guitar 1 and 2 should "trade-off" accents a bit more, interplay and all that (more chord-accents with on guitar 1 maybe, as it is now it kinda leaves too much open space).

And yes, change everything as you see fit. I mocked this up without much serious effort, basically just pasted parts together - transitions are dodgy and need more attention, and of course in a real-live setting you can't "fade out" a track, so a proper ending is much needed.

And by all means, of course play it. It's your song anyways, and I'd love to hear a rendition of it.

edit: oh, and another thing, are you still (re)working on your metalcore song ("155") ? In the meantime I could post my take on it, if you permit.
Last edited by Ailes at Mar 2, 2008,
#9
That was really good. The re written version was ****ing superb, however.
I'm a person.
#10
Quote by Ailes
thanks !

insert 7 or 8 paras here

edit: oh, and another thing, are you still (re)working on your metalcore song ("155") ? In the meantime I could post my take on it, if you permit.


dude that was crazy awesome rendition you made, it was like an 11/10

wanna do that my stuff, id love to see where you could take it [it similar metalcore stuff recently, you might like it]
Quote by metul kult
You know when Attack Attack is ripping off your music, you're onto something


twitter: @victorstaygold
#11
beatiful... I loved it, it should have lyrics though. Something relaxing to go with it.
#13
10/10. That's all.

The re-written version is also amazing. I can't choose.
#14
the re-written version took out the awesome piano riff from 19-22 witch i liked very very much. But the re-written version is superb lol! but Thomasoman add back that awesome piano riff from the first copy its too good to be left out 12/10 with if you add back that piano riff in
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#15
The "rewritten" version was not meant to stand alone or compete with the original form in any way. If i intended to make a proper song I'd compose it more thouroughly and with proper transitions and expansions (like the keyboard part which I intentionally left out (careful listeners will note how I incorporated the basic keyboard mechanics in the rhythm guitar instead) because I didn't know if thomaso has a keyboard player in his band, so I kept it at basic rockband setup).
Instead, it was just intended as a quick mockup sketch to show how the riffs would sound different with a little bit of tweaking here and there. It was not meant to be "better" in any way (although I have of course enough confidence in my work to release it in the first place), just an outlet of inspriation to provide a broader range of sonic possibilites from which the original composer can draw now. Alas, I hope we'll hear a live version soon.