#1
So I have a bit of a story, it's going to be part ranting part story.

Before I go on with the story I'd just like to say that anyone here who generalizes cops as pigs and assholes, you can go fuck yourself.

I went to work (I work at Extreme Pita) at 4:00 today, scheduled to work 4-11 (close). Around 7:45 my sister calls the store hysterical screaming and crying about something. The only words I can make out are "guy", "naked", "cops", and "home". Before I go on it needs to be said that my mom, who I live with, is in Nova Scotia for a month and my dad was at a movie and was unreachable. So I called my boss (who's an ass, by the way) freaking out asking if I could close down the store and go figure out what the fuck was going on at my house. I was working with one other girl who was due to leave at 8:00 so she stayed until my boss could come in and cover (I use the term cover loosely because while I was gone he did quite literally NONE of my closing duties for me while I was gone). So I got home and there's three cop cars outside my house along with two other cars and a couple people on the street standing outside gawking. I hurry inside into the kitchen where I see my sister at the table with two cops telling them what happened. Here's the story;

My sister moved out about a month ago about 5 minutes away. She had come home to borrow my mom's car for the night because she was gone. Pulling into the driveway she sees the front door wide open with a pair of pants and other assorted garments strung across the stairs leading up the house.

Turns out some nutjob, we don't know if he was smacked out on something or just flat out retarded, had made a visit to our house. We think it may have been around 5:30 or so. He wandered in the front door, took of his clothes, and just chilled. My sister comes in thinking it's either me or my friend's just stoned or drunk out of our faces, but realizes I'm at work so she calls out to see who's home. This dude, maybe 5 '10 22 years old and white, wanders around the corner of the landing in the front hall of my house wearing my mom's silk nightgown and nothing else. This is how the conversation went:

Sister: Oh hey, are you one of Evan's friends?
Dude (read this to yourself in a totally spaced out half retarded voice): Are you one of Evan's friends?
Sister: ...
Dude: What's an Evan?
Sister: *High pitched scream*

So she runs outside with the phone and starts to call the cops. This dude doesn't leave. He stands there looking at her and occasionally trying to look down her shirt (she has excessive breastage, and she enjoys flaunting it). So she's running around outside in the snow while this guy just chills naked in my family room watching TV oblivious to what the hell is happening around him. He then proceeds to wander to my room and play one of my guitars, which is when the cops came in and got him.

Anyway so I get home and make a statement saying I was the last one home etc. and my sister makes hers. After wandering around the house with one of the Cops to point out anything that seemed out of the ordinary, we had searched every room in the house and found nothing that looked different. Then we got to the basement.

The guy had racked up the pool balls, which were previously in the pockets, and had the shaft of a toy spear that I ganked from a friend of mine on the table as if he had tried to use it as a pool cue. It's funnier if you see it. That's the only thing that was out of place in the entire house.


It's just way too bizarre. I had to share it with you guys. And now I'm worried about sleeping here.

Edit- One other thing, the cops just came back to pickup the nightgown and I had a little chat with them. One of them said "I'm not trying to hit on you, but do you wear Hugo Boss jockeys?". My dad peaks out around the corner and says "I do, why?".

Turns out he was wearing a pair of my dads underwear and they confiscated it at the station.
Last edited by wilty00 at Mar 2, 2008,
#4
That was the strangest thing I have read all week.

How bizzare.

and for the lazy people...

tl;dr: there was some random guy in his house.
Quote by Virgil_Hart05
If I wanted to read excessive ammounts of text I'd have read erotic literature, not wikipedia.
#6
What the hell!
Quote by DanRev
"Come over to my place, no ones home"


I went, there was no one home.
#7
Sounds like a fun dude.
My style is impetuous.
My defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious.
I want your heart.
I want to eat your children.

-Mike Tyson
#8
Sorry dude, I though It was my house...
Nice guitars, btw.
time machine. Inadvertently, I had created a
#9
This one time after work during the summer at around 11:00 pm, I had to get gas, and saw this girl from school there and we said hi, and it was really awkward...
I can honestly say I have really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like.


I don't always post on UG, but when I do, I post in the Pit. Stay thirsty my friends.
#10
Next time, on Reading Rainbow...
"Music is an expression. Not competition." ~ Woe, Is Me

Guitar
ESP LTD Viper 400

Amp
Orange Crush 35LDX
#15
Quote by Turd_Ferguson
Pics or it didn't happen

Edit: Damn.


hahah nice try
Everybody Loves Lefty..

Lefties Unite!


Melodic Thrash Metal and winners of the Wacken Metal Battle Canada and 2nd Place Runner Ups for Wacken Metal Battle International

PROFANER
#16
wtf!?
that is bizzarre.


and i'm quite surpised that i read all of that


and i was about to go to sleep with my fiance.
thanks. i'm gonna have nightmares of hetrosexual red necks barging into my house and using a pool cue to rape my Schecter.
#19
Quote by Holy.
So what was up with the dude?

yeah, seriously.
I can honestly say I have really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like.


I don't always post on UG, but when I do, I post in the Pit. Stay thirsty my friends.
#21
Quote by Holy.
So what was up with the dude?


Well the cops just came back about 20 minutes ago to pickup the nightgown for evidence. I talked to them and they said he was in a mental lockdown. My sister and I think he was on meth or something of that sort, but he may have just gone bonkers.
#22
He then proceeds to wander to my room and play one of my guitars, which is when the cops came in and got him.


Your guitar just got violated by a naked man!

#24
Quote by I kill Children
He then proceeds to wander to my room and play one of my guitars, which is when the cops came in and got him.


Your guitar just got violated by a naked man!


yeah... you better get some oust.
I can honestly say I have really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like.


I don't always post on UG, but when I do, I post in the Pit. Stay thirsty my friends.
#25
Quote by IMABBALLPLAYER
yeah... you better get some oust.

Oust?

LARGE TEXT
#26
Quote by Holy.
Oust?



Yeah man. he probably smelled like crap.
I can honestly say I have really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like.


I don't always post on UG, but when I do, I post in the Pit. Stay thirsty my friends.
#27
Quote by stangconv
Gonna need to see pics of the Large Breastesses... Just for the Official UG record...


Yes, please post picture(s) of your sister's breasts.
Quote by Alterationsgtrs
While watching Scooby Doo

Velma- Jinkies, I lost my glasses
Me- Oh they're right here (while furiously masturbating)


#28
Quote by 70x7
Yes, please post picture(s) of your sister's breasts.


yes... please do so.
I can honestly say I have really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like.


I don't always post on UG, but when I do, I post in the Pit. Stay thirsty my friends.
#29
Quote by I kill Children
He then proceeds to wander to my room and play one of my guitars, which is when the cops came in and got him.


Your guitar just got violated by a naked man!



My guitar gets violated by naked men on a daily basis.

But yes, I polished and febreezed it.
#30
Quote by wilty00
My guitar gets violated by naked men on a daily basis.

But yes, I polished and febreezed it.

NOOOO, you should have used oust. Oust gets the surface, febreeze doesnt.
I can honestly say I have really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like.


I don't always post on UG, but when I do, I post in the Pit. Stay thirsty my friends.
#31
^this man knows what he's talking about
Gear:
Fender Mexican Standard Strat(Sunburst, Rosewood, Custom Shop '69 pickups)
Fender Super Champ XD
EHX Big Muff Pi
Yamaha Acoustic
Alvarez Silver Anniversary Acoustic
#32
Quote by gilbs73
^this man knows what he's talking about

if only my parents would listen...
I can honestly say I have really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like.


I don't always post on UG, but when I do, I post in the Pit. Stay thirsty my friends.