#1
once again a working title, this seems to be my sticking point, coming up with a title I'm happy with. suggestions are more than welcome.
P.S. I was listening to a lot of 'Saves the Day' when I wrote this.

V1
Every time I close my eyes I see you standing there before me
Can't get you off of my mind It's hard to think when you can't blink

CHORUS

Here we go on this roller coaster
Keep you hands inside the ride
Once again I am coming closer
It's too late to run and hide

V2
Last night you were in my dreams, you stabbed me and you left me bleeding
I am back to haunt you now and make you life a living hell

CHORUS
Bridge/Solo
CHORUS
CHORUS


i have some other verse material from a re-wright, I'm still trying to change the last 2 lines of the chorus:

possible V3
I hope you regret the way you left me lying to my face, down
on the cold concrete you didn't check to see if I was breathing

This is the last breath you'll take, it deep and hold it till the morning
when you wake up I'll be there, you'll feel my presence but won't see me
#2
I thought this was alright, but I have one thing to suggest. I would try to avoid singing the chorus three times with only a bridge/solo to separate them, people might get tired of hearing the same four lines without much to keep it from getting repetitive. However, as far as the lyrics themselves go, I found nothing problematic. Your rhythm was fine, and your rhyme scheme wasn't forced or anything. Good job all around. If you could crit Illiterate in my sig, I'd appreciate it a lot. Peace