#1
Anybody know any drummer jokes?
My dad (ex-roadie) told me that there were tons of them but he could only remember one.
How do you tell when a stage is level?

When you see the drool coming out of both sides of the drummers mouth.
#2
How do you confuse a drummer?
Put sheet music infront of him.

How do you confuse him even more?
Write something on that sheet.

A metal drummer, a funk drummer and a jazz drummer fall off a cliff.
Who wins?


Society.

I got more.
Just can't think of any right now.


Jayke
Member of the Laney Cult
#5


I LOVE that joke!
'08 Gretsch White Falcon
'98 Fender USA Deluxe Tele
'79 Greco Les Paul Standard
Airline Stratotone Crafter GAE8

A bunch of funky pedals

Handwired 50 Watt Plexi Lead Clone w/ Orange 4x12
#6
drummers are like whor*s they bang anything and call it 'art' (:
Quote by Its_Rock77
you are a god.



I haven't been on UG in ages... I miss you guys

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#7
Quote by ALotLikeVegas
drummers are like whor*s they bang anything and call it 'art' (:

since when does a wh0re call their work art?
#8
Quote by fretsonfire74
since when does a wh0re call their work art?



since i said so
Quote by Its_Rock77
you are a god.



I haven't been on UG in ages... I miss you guys

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#9
Quote by fretsonfire74
since when does a wh0re call their work art?


Ever since they were hit by a strand of semen that vaguely resembled a religious figure.
D:
Signature.
#10
what did the drummer get on his I.Q. test? Drool

how did the guitarist get a handicapped parking spot? he/she put a set of drumsticks on the dash

bad one for guitarists here - what's black and blue and lying in a ditch? a guitarist that has told too many drummer jokes
#11
Q:what do you call a guy that hangs around with the band?
A: the drummer

Q: why does a guitarist put drum stix on his dashboard
A: so he can park in a handicaped spot
Im gonna pistol whip the next guy that says shenanigans !!!!
#12
can't believe no one mentioned this yet

so 2 musicians and a drummer walk into a bar...
Gear:
Jackson Dinky DK2L
Epiphone LP Standard
Yamaha Acoustic
Bugera 1990 w/ Peavey 2x12 cab
#13
How do you know when theres a drummer at the door?
The knockings off beat and he doesn't know when to come in

how do you know the stage is level?
drool is coming out both sides of the drummer's mouth

what was the last thing the drummer said b4 gettin kicked outa the band?
"hey guys i wrote a song"

a drummer goes into a music shop, wanting to take up a new instrument as he is fed up with all the drummer jokes.

he spends an hour looking at all the instruments and finally makes his decision nd goes to the counter and asks for the big red one in the corner

the assistant bursts out laughing, and said "you're a drummer aren't you mate?"

the drummer confused says "yeah, how did you know"

the shop assistant says "cos thats the bloody fire extinguisher"
#14
What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?

Homeless.

Quote by hazzmatazz
youmakemesmile...

Quote by sebastian_96
Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
#16
I once asked a drummer how to spell "Mississippi".
He said, "the river or the state?"

A band goes up on stage for a gig.
Halfway through the set, in the middle of a song, the singer suddenly forgets the lyrics. Not wanting to be embaressed, he asks the guitarist during his solo what the lyrics are.
The guitarist tells him "Man, I don't know. I'm just here, focusing on my awesome solo!"
He goes over to the bassist, and the bassist replies "Dude, how should I know? I'm just here, keeping the bassline...".
The singer, becoming nervous, goes over to the drummer and asks him:
"Hey bro, do you by any chance remember the lyrics?"
"*tun tch tun tch* Lyrics? What song are we playing?"

Whats the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?
You only have to punch information into the drum machine once

What do you call a drummer with half a brain?
Gifted

Hey, did you hear about the drummer who finished high school?
Me either

What's the first thing a drummer says when he moves to LA?
"Would you like fries with that sir?"

What would you call the smartest drummer in the world?
Mildly retarded.
#17
what was the last thing the drummer said b4 gettin kicked outa the band?
"hey guys i wrote a song"



That actually happened in a band I used to play in....
multicolour random messge!

FAC 13
"The hacienda must be rebuilt"
#18
Quote by vjferrara
I once asked a drummer how to spell "Mississippi".


Hey, did you hear about the drummer who finished high school?
Me either

.


ummm, think you meant niether
#20
Quote by rik_soad
^i think he meant neither


I think he meant "Jell-O Brand Gelatin".
D:
Signature.
#21
Quote by Atomic48
I think he meant "Jell-O Brand Gelatin".

no, he meant "i love fretsonfire74".
noob.




drummer joke: wait, why am i thinking of a joke, a drummer is a joke.