#1
This is suppose to be an easy 3 min song. But i think i rushed into the chorus abit too fast. Just an intro riff and stuff. So yeah leave some thoughts down and ill get back to you.
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almost finished.zip
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Last edited by Jonathan Trejo at Mar 4, 2008,
#2
i am loving it so for
chorus dint feel to rushed at all
start working on some drums before you continue with guitar

btw, form teh looks of it youre in the key of Ab or Fminor, so id fix a few of those intro notes that are out, itll help in the long run

and if you want i can help out with some drums

[btw, wanna check this out?https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=801180, c4c i guess itd be, but ill crit more when youve done more, free of charge =)]
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#4
*starts adding

waht kinda drums do you want?

cuz i could put like the epic metal double bass stuff
or like just standard beat
or even some crazy soloish drums under this

EDIT:
heres some of what im working wiht
i kinda like it
tellme what you htink

EDIT 2:
drums for whole thing now
keep em or kill em, i dont care
Attachments:
drums for jt.zip
Last edited by envoykrawkwar7 at Mar 3, 2008,
#5
Epic metal drums ftw ^

If you want I can write a drum track for you when I've got time. Anyway, it sounds sweet. Lead sounds great too. But I'm not too fond with the 7th fret hit on the lead guitar in measure 34... sounds forced, at least in midi it does lol. Damn midi always ruining things. And in 64, the rhode piano should hit a 4 instead of 3, but that's IMO. Great sound so far and with drums it will sound so much better. 8.5/10 only because there are no drums in it.
#6
thnx guys for your crits it means alot. And envoykrawkwar7 your the man with your epilicious drums lol! thnx dude u made it sound 10x better. I can never imagine a drum beat i always ruin the drums but not this time. I've got help
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#7
i dont imagine drum beats really

i sorta just look and know
what you want to do is study em, like crazy for a week
open up tonns of gp tracks and listen to drums on solo
EDIT:

just pm when youve got the next part done
#9
Good:

-epic(good for the genre your writing)
-Reminds me of Zelda a bit, especially the chorus and lead bit
-The lead before the chorus and the chorus

Bad:

-A little repetitive
- maybe a little boring(to me, a thrash metal head)
-A little long, starts to lose interest(kinda fits under the little bit boring part)

Suggestions:

Make it a bit shorter and maybe have a faster part. a little more variety i guess. Not really a fan of this genre though.

Overall:

Well i'm not really a fan of this genre of music but i can see you've put a lot of effort into this. I do like the lead before the chorus and the chorus itself quite a bit, and i don't think you rushed into it. Overall i can't really complain. I'm sure someone who's more into this type of music would appreciate this more.

Rating: Solid 8/10 (once again, when it comes to this genre, i'm not very knowledgeable so my opinion shouldn't be taken too serious this time around)

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#10
well
these arent as great as the last ones
but all the way to the end
may require a bit'o'fixin'
but as it stands a solid product
Attachments:
drums for jt.zip
Quote by metul kult
You know when Attack Attack is ripping off your music, you're onto something


twitter: @victorstaygold
#11
Wahey! Quality intro! It sounds a lot like something you'd find in a Final Fantasy soundtrack, and that's a good thing in my book (given that the song you critiqued is based on Sephiroth from FFVII). I'd say that this is spot on, this track, I love it! I disagree with British Steal somewhat, but I'm quite a big fan of this kind of thing, I didn't find it boring at all, and I think it's of about the right length. I love the Rhodes Piano at the end, which only helps to add to the Video game music kind of sound.

A 9/10 from me, nice work!
#12
btw

seeing as how this is not done
ive got the perfect way to end it
the way its built is similar to another days structure
so you can end it by chorus up two steps in teh scale/key and then have an amazing solo over it [which i could help with]
but yeah
think about it
Quote by metul kult
You know when Attack Attack is ripping off your music, you're onto something


twitter: @victorstaygold
#13
It's... interesting! I like the feel of the piece definitely, it must've taken ages to write! I did sometimes feel like i was losing track of where you were heading with this, but I like the spacey feel you achieve with the outro, that was the best part for me! I agree with the others though - fix those duff notes! They stand out and they're hurting your song!

By the way, if you get chance, crit mine if you like!
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#14
lol ages! it took 2 days to write This was suppose to be like one of those pop rock songs or something. So i guess i did a good job thnx for the crits glad u guys think its interesting.
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#15
Quote by envoykrawkwar7
btw

seeing as how this is not done
ive got the perfect way to end it
the way its built is similar to another days structure
so you can end it by chorus up two steps in teh scale/key and then have an amazing solo over it [which i could help with]
but yeah
think about it


ok how can i do this? This may come as a shock to u but i have no clue about notes and keys Its all improvisation to me
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#16
umm
well
if you want
i can do it for you
there are a lot of notes id have to change to be in key [and the thing about in key is all the notes will have nothing next to them, becasue there are so many sharps or flats to a key, so if the note is a# itll just appear as standard note no little # next to it in musical notation not tablature btw]
Quote by metul kult
You know when Attack Attack is ripping off your music, you're onto something


twitter: @victorstaygold
#18
haha
all i know i learned off teh wikipedior
its actually pretty helpful
youll see what i mean at teh end of this [small littel solo thing thrown in there, and youll see what i mean also with how i changed the chorus]
Attachments:
drums for jt.zip
Quote by metul kult
You know when Attack Attack is ripping off your music, you're onto something


twitter: @victorstaygold
#19
waw that pretty insane lol thats like way to pro for me. Thank you We gotta make the transitions better thow
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#20
Quote by Jonathan Trejo
waw that pretty insane lol thats like way to pro for me. Thank you We gotta make the transitions better thow


yeah
actually some of them arent that bad
but it shouldnt take long to fix em up

you got aim?
we can work on it outside of this
Quote by metul kult
You know when Attack Attack is ripping off your music, you're onto something


twitter: @victorstaygold
#22
I agree with British Steel, this is a pretty solid song. I really enjoyed the intro as well as the lead. It was prehaps a bit too chaotic at times for me though, bars 23-25 for instance. You probably shouldnt let the notes tring out on an electric guitar, it'll just sound like a mess. It did get a little boring in the end though, a faster part would probably suit this song pretty well and make it a bit more versatile. Also, try to have something other than leads in the song as it tends to get a bit boring if the whole song is a large solo. I'm not really a fan of this genre but I still see that you worked hard on it and I think its pretty good, actually.
Thanks for the crit, btw.
#24
ok, i loved the intro. in fact i loved every second untill bar 21. the leads after 21 didnt sound good at all to me. but in saying that i cant compleatly judge this song without hearing a recording. i enjoyed the outro ad well

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=815591


also, you know how most of you guys have got you songs listed under you comment when u post, how do u do that so its got the name of the song and not just the link
#25
I loved it, it has a great feeling to it. I think the leads seem to be out of key sometimes. Also the note didn't really work for your outro.
I don't think you rushed the chorus, I how it started, the soft intro then the heavier chorus (y). It's also pretty cool you used a piano, it gives your song something unique.

If you have time, please check out my song : http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=816793
#26
im trying to make a deathcore song but the drums are so hard i need to learn how to make blast beats
#27
Quote by smokeyalater
im trying to make a deathcore song but the drums are so hard i need to learn how to make blast beats

why did you bump this?