#1
six thieves slipped out the door with all the money and the gold
and you never said a word to them.
they came in the daylight, no guns and not a single knife
but somehow cut out your eyes.

i used to know this alley where all the angels would go
and drink until they fell asleep.
part of me seems to think i've seen you there before,
chatting about the horrible state
that those before us have left that paradise in
is still worth dying for?

come to me if you feel broken at the seams.
i will make you whole again.
and come to me, if you find yourself lost at sea.
i know i'm no lighthouse, but i can take you some of the way.

lost in the desert, wishing i had a stone to strike
so i could quench your thirst.
if i'm samson, you're delilah, and i think the story dies,
and no one burns out my eyes.

how sweet it must have tasted then, the honey from the lion's dead
but somehow fertile flesh.
eyes on the prize, we fall from the surface and die
and hear the words we've tried to believe.

come to me if you feel broken at the seams.
i will make you whole again.
and come to me, if you find yourself lost at sea.
i know i'm no lighthouse, but i can take you some of the way.

and should i see you on the other side of the gates
would you know me from the world before?
we can clip each other's wings in direct protest
of how they run things, and how no one ever hurts.
Last edited by stjoejake at Mar 3, 2008,
#3
Quote by stjoejake
six thieves slipped out the door with all the money and the gold
and you never said a word to them.
they came in the daylight, no guns and not a single knife
but somehow cut out your eyes.
The last line seems overly blunt.. otherwise i like this stanza.

i used to know this alley where all the angels would go
and drink until they fell asleep.
part of me seems to think i've seen you there before,
chatting about the horrible state
that those before us have left that paradise in
is still worth dying for?
Good stanza. Personal opinion, but punctuation would be nice.

come to me if you feel broken at the seams.
i will make you whole again.
and come to me, if you find yourself lost at sea.
i know i'm no lighthouse, but i can take you some of the way.
The last line is a bit confusing. I get what your trying to say, but it also seems as you're trying to say a lighthouse takes people places, lol.

lost in the desert, wishing i had a stone to strike
so i could quench your thirst.
if i'm samson, you're delilah, and i think the story dies,
and no one burns out my eyes.
ooh, now that I read this stanza, the connection between it and the first stanza seems pretty cool.

how sweet it must have tasted then, the honey from the lion's dead
but somehow fertile flesh.
eyes on the prize, we fall from the surface and die
and hear the words we've tried to believe.
Either this is far past my metaphorical understanding, or this is a very confusing stanza...

come to me if you feel broken at the seams.
i will make you whole again.
and come to me, if you find yourself lost at sea.
i know i'm no lighthouse, but i can take you some of the way.

and should i see you on the other side of the gates
would you know me from the world before?
we can clip each other's wings in direct protest
of how they run things, and how no one ever hurts.
Great ending to a good piece.


I liked this piece, well written.
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POP PUNK
for fans of...

Motion City Soundtrack, Get Up Kids, Jimmy Eat World, Transit, Brand New, Dashboard Confessional, Early November, Fall Out Boy, Jawbreaker, Polar Bear Club, The Story So Far, the Wonder Years, Something Corporate.