#1
New song!!

This is a.. I would say Death/Thrash-ish song that I recently made. Please critique it!

I will c4c, but please leave me some critisism instead of some half assed comment like "Good job.. c4c ?!" NO!

EDIT: Forgot file.. hehe.

EDIT: READ N00BS From_The_Abyss_2 is the same as the first, except with a different intro. It may seem long, but I plan to have some somewhat demonic voice go over it when it repeats saying something like "We come from the abyss, prepare for perpetual darkness and.. etc"
Attachments:
From_The_Abyss.zip
From_The_Abyss_2.zip
Last edited by AngrySockMonkey at Mar 6, 2008,
#2
Good job... C4C?

I've got a couple of gripes with this song; the clean intro, in my view, does not fit it at all. It's got a completely different mood to the rest of the song, and it just sounds... happy. I dunno.

Most of the riffs are OK; when you get the trem-picking in bar 23 and onwards, it's very cool indeed. IMO, the best riff in there is the one introduced by the bass after the intro.

Try to avoid repetition; in a slightly contradictory way, you also seem to try to pack as many riffs in there as possible, which I don't really recommend. It's a shame, because the riffs themselves are usually fun to listen to (fun? how un-br00tal ), but when they unexpectedly transition all the time, it kills their effectiveness a little. The solo is very fitting; good work on that.

I'll give this a 7.5 out of 10 becuase of my little niggles with it. Good job though-with a bit of editingm it'll be in the 9-10 category.

#3
Rofl.

After I finished the song, I was a bit iffy with the intro as well, but I was lazy and posted it as is. Hehe. I think I might try to change that now actually. One question though, was it the actual transcription of the intro or was it the clean guitar that you disliked about it?
#4
The intro itself, rather than the fact it's not distorted. Clean intros can be amazing, I'm an absolute sucker for them. Make it creepy and it'll work.
#5
Good:

- Bass Intro (bass only) from bars 10-13(heavy as **** if you can utilize it properly i.e. a better riff/a different riff after)
- Some of the riffs have potential. You just need to change a couple of chords/some of the rhythm.
ex: riff in bars 55-56, the riff from 110 onward, the clean intro

Bad:

-Riff in bars 14-21, What sounds good on bass, doesn't necessarily sound good on guitar
-Riff in bars 65-110 just bored the crap out of me
-The solo
-The clean intro; it just doesn't fit at all

Average:

-Most of the song was pretty average, and a lot of it was kinda generic (to me at least, not getting the thrash portion with the heaviness and catchyness)
-Riff in bars 110-onwards(its almost bad, below average for sure)


Suggestions:

-Rework some of the riffs and make them catchy and heavy(the ones i mentioned)
-new clean intro(or change a couple of notes in the one you have now, the notes that make it sound all happy)
-that bass intro thing is sweet, expand on that by adding a different but very heavy(and catchy) guitar riff after it.
-scrap everything but that one bass intro (10-13)
-new solo

Overall:

The song is pretty bland and generic, while it is somewhat heavy its really lacking that heavy fused with catchy element that makes good thrash, good thrash(imo) or in your case death thrash(which to me includes bands like Sodom or Kreator for example). The transitions are a bit rough and the clean intro is really lacking. The solo is simply, disappointing.

Rating: 5.5-6/10 for the whole song, about an 8-8.5/10 for that bass intro/bass riff

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But hey, at least you have a 10% chance of absolutely guaranteeing failure.
Last edited by British_Steal at Mar 5, 2008,
#6
Well, like you've heard me say before, Black Metal really isn't my genre. But whatever.

I actually really like the intro. The notes chosen really add tension.

And now.... the metal.

Good opening bass riff. I aso like the realy quick hamonics at the end of each bar.

Yeah, there's already been too much tremelo picking for my taste.

Okay, one thing I've been noticing: All of your riffs start off without drums, and then the drums just kick in after the riff plays through once or twice. Is this a black metal thing, or just a habit of yours?

I like the solo at 74. It sounds almost exotic. There were a couple of wrong notes though.

Hey, the riff at 110 started with dums.... good job.

lol, that solo was really badass. The outro was probrably my favorite part.

So yeah, I guess that was okay. The thing that bothered me is that you were sticking to a ertian repetetive formula throughout the whole song. For me, Ihav to think outside the box to write good muisc. But, whatever works I guess. 6.5/10.
I'm a person.
#7
Well, like most of the others it would appear, I'm not a fan of the clean intro, I'd cut it or change it somehow. I love clean intros but I don't like that one.

But everything changes with bar 10. I bloody love Bass only intros and that is a great example of one, and I'm a big fan of everything flowing it up until bar 38.

I'm not such a big fan of bars 39 to 53, but I think that's a personal preferance. Like PinkIsCool said, you seem to start every riff off without drums, this is quite a Black/Thrash thing to do, isn't it? It sounds a little generic at this point to me. However, the drum fill at bar 54 is awesome!

I prefer the riff starting at 55 to the riff previous, although it's still too generic Black/Thrash for my tastes, I love how everything works together at this point. The bass fill at 64 sounds awesome too.

I'd cut bars 65 to 68. I like the tune, but I think it sounds silly on it's own, I'd have also done something interesting with the bass here, rather than just following the guitars, little scale runs perhaps?

As for the solo, I like the sound of it, although there sounds like there could be some duff notes in there. I particularly like how bars 89 - 91 flow.

The riff starting at 110! Awesome! Why did you not use this earlier?! The ending solo is awesome as well, the two work perfectly together. Liking the whammy-bar action as well!

The bass outro is sublime as well, shame there wasn't more to it!

Overall. I like the song, I think it could benefit from being a bit faster in places. It's just under 4 minutes, roughly and no one riff repeats, is this an instrumental or are there lyrics to come? If so, I take it this is without choruses and the suchlike?

I'd like to hear the finished product recorded!

Good job.. c4c?!
#8
Yeah, I plan to add some sort of lyrics to this in the future when my friend and I can get some people together for a band .

I'm working on a clean intro, I find its a lot harder to write one now that the song is finished.. But I might post an alternate .zip with it so you can see. I might just takre a clean intro out alltogether.

And yes, it is a dreadfull habit of me to do the drum thing. You can hear it in like every song I write.. I actually like the sound of the build up, but I can see why it gets repetitive. Thanks for Crits, and I will c4c for sure
#9
the bass part was good. Guitar not so much. there is alot bm here witch is ok. But im glad since u said your going to write a new verison of this song. Later in the song there is a bitchin lead witch i like. Fits perfectly. Other than that u should revamp the intro bring it back to life u know what i mean. Cause its like dead and burried . My god that sliding solo guitar is amazing. Gj c4c? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=805492
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Last edited by Jonathan Trejo at Mar 6, 2008,
#11
The bass and drums were good, but like Jonathan said, the guitar not so much. I'd suggest do the guitar over again so it fits with the other instruments. The highlight I think was the riff at bar 44, I really liked that. Other than the guitar not fitting so well, its good. Nice job overall.

#12
Measure 31 the drums don't fit IMO to the guitarist rhythm. A bit repetitive at points makes me think, "is this the same notes?". Second guitar solo is nasty good. The ending is kind of random to me, seems pointless.

Honestly it seems like you just toyed with riffs piecing them together, each one flew into another with an awkward feeling. 3/5
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Last edited by FlyingPooooo at Mar 6, 2008,
#13
Not a big fan of black metal, but that wasn't bad.

The bass intro, like everyone else said, was awesome, I really loved it. Afterwards, some of the riffs were pretty good, but some were boring as hell without any other instrument. I mean, playing a riff only with a single guitar is pretty boring.

The solos were awesome, some wrong notes here and there though.

Riff starting at 110 is just fabulous, I wish you would've used it more. The ending solo was fabulous too, you like the whammy bar don't you? Haha, it was good^^

The bass outro was definitely cool, I dig it.

It was a nice song, although I never really liked/listened to black metal...

7/10 -> Fill some riffs more, change some notes in the solo.

Cheers for the crit!
#14
...It's not black metal.

And, did you download # 2 or 1 becuase I fixed the solo on 2, made the intro different, and made some other minor changes along with some other things. I am only keeping one there so I have that intro in case I need it later.
#15
Hmm.

the second version's intro fits a bit better..BUT it's kinda dragged on a bit.you should add some more layers onto it on the repeat. You also need a transition between 27 and 28, it just kinda feels like a random riff switch o_o;

i do like the individual riffs though. But on all of them you repeated one too many times. with some vocals it could probably be ficed though, but as is, it loses my intrest after a while.

Oh, the second solo was terrifying. in a good way. lol. nice job on that XD
#16
Haha, thank you on a couple things:

- Terrifying is good
- You didn't call it black metal

This song WILL have vocals, think Raining Blood. And, Did you read the bolded part in my EDIT that says Read n00bs aboot the intro?