#1

This man has stolen my dog.

Not really, this is a picture I found on the internet that looks like the person I witnessed stealing my dog. I woke up yesterday morning and as I got out of the shower my eyes drifted to the bathroom window. My dog sleeps outside in a dog house, and when I looked outside I saw a man who looks a lot like the guy in the picture STEALING MY DOG.

Normally I would just dip into my vast pools of cash and purchase a new solid gold dog-bot ( Did I mention my dog is a solid gold robot? ), but as he ran off with my solid gold dog-bot, I heard him shout " Your move capitalist pig! ".

I knew it was a minion of my enemy, Julio von Communist.

I quickly dried off and changed in to my suit, top hat and loafers. I ran down the stairs and out onto the lawn. I scanned the area, and spotted the communist henchman escaping in a weather balloon! I ran, as fast as I could, to my tool shed where I keep my guns for hunting humans for sport. But alas, the henchman had escaped.

After setting loose and then hunting some of the Cambodians I have chained in my basement, I began to contemplate my next move. But my hired contemplator was on leave and I had to turn to the internets. Sadly, my favorite websites such as " How-to-torture-illegal-immigrants-for-your-amusement.net " and " How-to-steal-billions-from-shareholders.org " had been shut down by the government, so I decided to turn to my next hobby, guitar playing. But I suck hairy cock at guitar so I went to the pit.

How am I going to get back at Julio von Communist? I'm thinking something along the lines of mass genocide, but that will only make me feel better and not do anything to rid me of Julio and his anti-capitalist ways. Any ideas?
two and a half men.
#2
Rape.
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#3
Leave 4chan's threads at 4chan
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#4
I stole a dog once
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#8
This is the second thread today that is being denied the services of the pear...

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#9
go back to 4chan
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Uh oh......you just had to go and piss off danielrobbyshor, now we're all ****ed.

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How can an orgy be 'Nazi-style'? What did he stop halfway through and incinerate a jew?
#10
Quote by Jack Off Jill
I stole a dog once

I remember that! What did you end up doing with him, by the way?
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#11
There are many pictures that I could post that would fit with she sheer annoyance of this post, but I think this may suffice:



Oh, by the way, *reported*.
ok, yeah. my name is silly because I signed up when I was 13.

BEDBUGS
#12
Quote by Cameronrobson
Tell me more.

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/poll.php?do=showresults&pollid=28033
It's closed, though. Someone bumped it months and months after I stole it, so it became a pointless thread.

As a matter of fact, I think someone made a thread with this exact title after I made that thread, as a joke because of the dog I stole.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#13
turn me back into the pet that i was when we met,
i was happier then with no mind-set.
#14
Quote by ac/dc_freak91
I remember that! What did you end up doing with him, by the way?

Her*

I dyed her, and gave her back a few days later, I think on a Monday. They found out that I'm the one who did it, but they didn't know for the longest time..

Anyway, I'm currently thinking about stealing a baby cow I saw on a farm not too long ago. The owners aren't mistreating it, I just really want to own a baby cow for awhile.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#17
I say do something that will get your point across. Writing a very angry letter will more than likely do the trick... But mass genocide? Meh... not so much.
#18
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Internet, you have won the
Thanks. I'll pick up my internet in the morning
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#19
Quote by charger356
I say do something that will get your point across. Writing a very angry letter will more than likely do the trick... But mass genocide? Meh... not so much.

yes
write a STRONGLY WORDED LETTER
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#20
Quote by Jack Off Jill
Her*

I dyed her, and gave her back a few days later, I think on a Monday. They found out that I'm the one who did it, but they didn't know for the longest time..

Anyway, I'm currently thinking about stealing a baby cow I saw on a farm not too long ago. The owners aren't mistreating it, I just really want to own a baby cow for awhile.

You should do it!
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Forget about her, she seems complicated. Who wants a girl who answers in riddles? I'm not the fucking sfinx.

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Woah, woah. Back the hell up.

Polo shirt?

Sunglasses?

Of course he got all the girls, he's Rick Astley.
#21
Quote by element4433
Leave 4chan's threads at 4chan


ha, i've seen this story somewhere on there actually.