#1
I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy
a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful woman
assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it.
She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one.

I honestly answered, "No, this is my first time."

So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her
thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I
apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the store
to see if it was empty. It was empty.

"Just a minute," she said, and walked to the door, and locked it.
Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse
and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. "Do these
excite you?" she asked. Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do
was nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on.
As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties
and lay down on a desk. "Well, come on", she said, "We don't have much time."

So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could
no longer hold back and KAPOW, I was done within a few minutes.

She looked at me with a bit of a frown. "Did you put that condom on?"
she asked. I said, "I sure did," and held up my thumb to show her.

She fainted.

I LOL'd
#4
Quote by Les_Frederiksen
PlayMadness, you give me hope for mankind.

Quote by Darksucker
PlayMadness - Jesus 2.0

Quote by genghisgandhi
Society's doing great. There's a rise of people like PlayMadness. I feel pretty good about the way things are going.
#6
O-l-d
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

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#7


Not very funny.

EDIT: Damn you Preid! I had it first. I'm telling!
ok, yeah. my name is silly because I signed up when I was 13.

BEDBUGS
Last edited by ratmblink123 at Mar 4, 2008,
#8
First time not using the search bar either i see. This thread was made last week.
But still...
Hurp De Durp
#9
hahahaha old but still funny
Quote by britneyspears69
I got my first guitar recently and people are telling me to get pickups. I don't get it. What do they do? Do they help you when you drop your pick?
#14
Why would she faint? not like hes got aids and shes probably on the pill

FAIL
☺Take It Easy ♥
#16
first time ive seen it. i laughed.
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#18
haha
Quote by Pinballwizard93
you sir, Martinikiss7, should be president.



Jizz is where it is
#19
Lol @ the realistic circumstances of this joke. Horny? Want to get laid? Buy condoms at your local pharmacy!*


*Clerk may range from age 16-79.
Quote by Mike Birbiglia
I went to the doctor, and they found something in my bladder. And whenever they find something, it's never anything good like, "We found something in your bladder AND IT'S SEASON TICKETS TO THE YANKEES!!


Do you folks like folk?
Last edited by BringMeTheCalm at Mar 4, 2008,
#21
Quote by BringMeTheCalm
Lol @ the realistic circumstances of this joke. Horny? Want to get laid? Buy condoms at your local pharmacy!*


*Clerk may range from age 16-79.


hahaha that was funnier than the joke itself.
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#22
Hahaha awesome.
Quote by 20cdndollars
You are god, floppypick



Floppydick


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#23
the pic from the second post made it so much funnier
sacrificial beaver of the laney cult

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#24
Sheesh.

This was done like 2 or 3 weeks ago.

I feel like an official old time UGer.
When the music's over, turn out the lights.


Quote by pencap
i fingerd my girl the other day she got so wet nearly my entier hand was soked after that i ate her up, she blacked out it was awesome
#25
Quote by BringMeTheCalm
Lol @ the realistic circumstances of this joke. Horny? Want to get laid? Buy condoms at your local pharmacy!*


*Clerk may range from age 16-79.

She was 80...

^
He's laughing at YOU.
You better click that bastard.



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