#1
ok i wrote this song at school abviously becouse everyone feels someone caged at school blah blah ok here the lyrics are

life slows down
my mind speed up
i a adored
i am shunned
i am famous

life is dull
i am bored

you tell me
what seek
i come up short

life blurs
my mind screams
my vision distorts
my words are slured
i comprehend
this is hell
we play pretend
of a love

im lost in this instant, shadowing
looking for a moment
out of my head


that all i got anyone help me out?
#4
Quote by BittertwistedZa
ok i wrote this song at school abviously becouse everyone feels someone caged at school blah blah ok here the lyrics are

Thought I'd crit this, seeing as I reported it. Least I can do.

life slows down
my mind speed up
i a adored
i am shunned
i am famous

I personally think "infamous" would work better than "famous" here, but that's just preference. I do like the first two lines though.

life is dull
i am bored

you tell me
what seek
i come up short

This doesn't make any sense, at all. You might want to rewrite this part, because I don't know what you're trying to say here

life blurs
my mind screams
my vision distorts
my words are slured
i comprehend
this is hell
we play pretend
of a love

The last two lines are good here. However, "my mind screams" seems a bit too cliche. Also, you already have "life blurs" so "my vision distorts" is kind of repeating the same thing again

im lost in this instant, shadowing
looking for a moment
out of my head


that all i got anyone help me out?


OK, you need to work very hard on your grammar, I saw quite a few mistakes in there. Also, there were some parts in the song which didn't make sense at all. "We play pretend of a love" for example.

That said, you do have some good ideas in here, and you're only going to improve.