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#1
fellow UGers, only minutes ago, my mom caught me having sex with my hand....
after 2 years or so of secretcy, she finally caught me.
im going crazy at this moment
#5
Did you at least make the event comical ike, "Hey! Can't you see I'm busy here!" or something?
#8
damn dude. thats horrible. well, fap up and then just take a shower then go to bed. it'll all be over soon.
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#9
it could be worse....


You could have been at your peak when she walked in...
Oh f*ck it,
I'm gonna have a party.
I had the blankest year,
I watched life turn into a TV show.
It was totally weird.
#11
whatd you do? did you

a) jump up and try and hide your shame
b) stop.....and start crying
c) stop.....and get up, close the door and go fetal position for the next few hours
d)stop......make a joke and take it pretty well
e) or are you a real sick mother****er, and look your mom in the eyes and keep going

either way, that definitely sucks. you need to learn the art of whacking off. if others are in the house you must always be aware of where everyone is at all times....listen for anyone that might be within 20 feet of your room, you must have ninja like reflexes in order to zip up and close any windows on your computer, and you must be able to do it in SILENCE. thats why after so many years i have NEVER been caught once.
#12
Quote by soXlittleXtimeX
it could be worse...

She could have said "You're doing it wrong".


That would be the worst thing ever.
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#13
i hope you cleaned off before making this thread
dude, what about an actual solo in death metal instead of that poof from linkin park. Think of Pulse of the Maggots - Bed Of Razors


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#14
Wow, that sucks dude. Go up to her and say, "Mom, I promise I wont ever do it again." Then when she says she doesn't believe you, say "I mean it, wanna shake on it?" Make sure to hold out the hand you were fapping with. It will make it soo awkward for her.
#16
Well, you just got owned.
We've drained full confession booths, polluted drinking wells with our repentances, and then stood grinning with our arms around the shoulder of a rotting child.



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#17
ouch! I haven't been caught yet but if I ever were I'd probly just say "You should let girls come over" or "****, atleast none of my friends were in on it!" still hat would ****in suck
#18
Well you know how to fix this: Catch her in the act. You'll be even!
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#20
Quote by terrencemaddox
Well you know how to fix this: Catch her in the act. You'll be even!


dude getting even is NEVER worth that kind of price.

watching your mom get off is the most traumatizing thing i could imagine. if i saw that i would definitely consider killing myself
#23
Quote by Rock-Guitarist1
so any1 got any idea of how i should handle this in the morning?



Kill your mom before she tells anyone! No one must know!!!
#24
Honestly, its only natural. Dont worry about it. At least she may think twice before she barges into your place next time, it bought you some privacy.
#25
Owned. Quite frankly. Just... owned.
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#27
Quote by soXlittleXtimeX
it could be worse....


You could have been at your peak when she walked in...

ouch! thats almost happened to me once.
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#28
Quote by DaStrat0blast3r
dude getting even is NEVER worth that kind of price.

watching your mom get off is the most traumatizing thing i could imagine. if i saw that i would definitely consider killing myself


yea so would I...god just the thought of it is already nauseating as hell...

to TS...tell her you weren't fapping...you just had this incredible itch and couldn't help scratch it...and since she wont believe you, take a chair and knock her out with it. Then fap.
#29
Quote by SilentDeftone
You've been choking the chicken for two years straight?!

Find a new hobby!

-SD

He must not be doing it well if he hasn't finished in 2 years.
#30
d00d u totally phailed...

ok seriously tho? Just be glad she didn't take a polaroid and offer to get a midget involved.
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#31
You moron. You only do it at night (in bed) and when nobody's home. That way, you DON'T get caught.
#32
I bet your heart raced a million miles an hour. You aren't supposed to do it when there is a chance of getting caught.
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#33
I've been caught once several years ago but that was because I was watching a porno at 2 in the morning and I wanted to hear sound from the tv lol.
#34
Quote by DaStrat0blast3r
...you need to learn the art of whacking off. if others are in the house you must always be aware of where everyone is at all times....listen for anyone that might be within 20 feet of your room, you must have ninja like reflexes in order to zip up and close any windows on your computer, and you must be able to do it in SILENCE. thats why after so many years i have NEVER been caught once.


1+ guess what kind of website i have on my other tabs

Oh by the way...Sigged
Quote by metaldud536
...I mean if indians stood naked in front of me, i couldn't tell if they're hispanic or native american. unless they put on clothes

At first he was like...
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I love you, man. No homo

But then, he was like...
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I love you even more now. Slightly homo
#36
I can almost guarantee that your mother feels 10x worse than you do.


If my mum walked in I would confidently say "get out" and continue.
#37
This makes me bubble up with joy inside
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#38
Wow, I have never been caught.... Whats worse is when you are caught with a female whilst rubbing her crotch..... I was so close .....
Rainbow
(I'm not gay)
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