#1
once again, could be the start of something longer in the future. I kinda had fun writing this.


***
Essayist Norman Isaiah Finsterwald once said on the outtakes for a book on tape: “No one I knew ever read anything worth talking about, so don’t expect me to talk about something that you yourself could read out loud.” And he was only partially incorrect at that time, for his acquaintances and associates had nothing really to add to his already articulate and devastatingly heroic pieces of manuscript. Even his take on a subjects like accounting were accepted to wide praise for their complexity and attention to detail.

“Note, though, when these same numbers align in a diagonal fashion, the sheer magnitude of our known consciousness is tested, stretched beyond even the possible importance of the ‘correct answer’ we’ve always been told must direly be obtained.”

At times, for no apparent reason, he would sleep on park benches, eat his lunch on the curb of sidewalks, and even sometimes completely forget to wear his pants. Some would say that it was all cleverly planned, others would propose that it was either one or all of the following problems: loose or unconnected wires, missing screws, not enough marbles, the dullest knife in the drawer, a few ticks short of an exploding time bomb, and so on. But few could possibly argue the impact his writing seemed to have on his readers; always seeming to offer up a reaction, regardless of what kind that might be.

I end this briefing with a quote that Norman himself quoted from the last page of the last piece of writing he ever published. Consequently, it was stated on his death-bed, Sept. 4, 1971, after he incurred well over two-dozen bee stings, apparently trying to extract honey from a low hanging hive. Later, two biscuit halves and a mason jar were found near the scene.

As it goes, “I once forgot to turn the lights off during a daytime nap, and after I woke up, I recall it being the closest occurrence to ‘time travel’ that I had ever experienced; And have since.” Ironic, cause he was always one to conserve energy.



Alternate ending quote:
“I once saw a submarine take the place of a ship. They switched sides, tasks, all duties. The sub didn’t mind it too much, but the ship, well, as a matter of fact, I never did hear exactly what happened to it. And the sub is not saying anything until it speaks to its lawyer.
#2
fucking. awesome.

It was as much fun to read as, I imagine, it was to write. The alternate ending quote was cool, but the original, as [almost] always in the case of alternates, remakes and retakes, do-overs, imitations, covers and rehashings, was much better.
#3
Quote by streetcarp19



As it goes, “I once forgot to turn the lights off during a daytime nap, and after I woke up, I recall it being the closest occurrence to ‘time travel’ that I had ever experienced; And have since.” Ironic, cause he was always one to conserve energy.



This part is brilliant.
#4
wow,this would sound fantastic being like narated during a movie while the movie showed the images u painted with your words or spoken with some background music in the background.Anyway very interesting read i hope you put more to it because you may have a movie or a book or perhaps both.


https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=798311
#5
cool guys....I appreciate all the kind words and I think I got back to all of yours.
#7
One of the best? Wow, that's saying quite a bit, but I do kind of agree with you I suspose. I guess the enjoyment i had writing it is showing through.
#8
brilliant. i havent been around here much and don't know what your other previous work is like, but id say this is my favorite thing ive read from you that i can remember.
#9
Thank you for the crit. As always I appreciate it. First of all, I thought the first paragraph could use some retooling. I enjoyted this piece, but that section just didn't grab my attention. I might be nitpicking here, but I thought that paragraph was kind of bloated and some words could be cut out. On a positive note I loved the last parapgraph as well as the alternate quote especially the "and the sub is not saying anything until it speaks to its lawyer" line.
#11
Wow. Sounds a bit like an essay, but an interesting one, obviously. This man sounds admirable and amazing.

I can't decide which of the quotes I like better, since they both sum up the brilliance and quirkiness of the guy, but I guess it depends on the vibe you want the piece to give off. The quote in the green shows a bit of hipocracy along with the man's intelligence, giving your work a bittersweet attitute, while the second just shows his humor and wit. It's really up to you which is better depending on what your message is.

Overall I was quite intrigued and I really enjoyed reading it. If you have time, I hope you check out my song, 1+1=1 It's linked in the sig.
#12
Wow! I don't know what to say except that that was really, really good. The quotes in the end were hilarious, the bee one is my personal favorite. I'm eager to see what you do with this in the future, whatever it is i'm sure it'll be epic. Great, great job...crit mine if you get a chance, "rain over longbarn road".
Quote by skater dan0
...and the bassist comes up to the EQ and moves all the sliders into the typical smiley face pattern and in a really thick Jamaican accent said "you can't have de bass without de smiley face"
#15
I enjoyed this alot. Definatley made me think of a movie voice over. The character seems pretty eccentric and borderline mad.
Not sure why, but I imagined it like a Pixar short movie? But obviously a more adult version. Hmm. Keep up the good work.

If you could crit any of my pieces, I'd be grateful. Decieved or Dream Machine. Thanks