#1
Stepping out the door just to check the mail, neighbors paycheck tells me I failed
The bank teller called me a liar, when I gave up my ID
Numbers on the check didn't match my name, can't make that much money without a degree

If we don't sell our souls to academics, our heads will be shaved, anti semetic
Even though your boss is popping synthetics, I become a detainee
State wants money I dont have, take my kids away from me
Everytime the doorbell rings, i aint here
What happened to fancy vacations every year?

Just last week.....


I had to out run two uniformed men
Lead them down one way streets,
Before I passed out in a senators hotel suite
He told me it was ok, everybody needs a break now and then


Critique for Critique, leave a link.
#2
sounds like a weak rap song with a bad forced rhyme scheme. the messege is kinda cool. try revising the rhyme scheme more.