#1
I originally planned for it to be a part of a bigger space rock opera type of song but i dunno, i might just make it as just a soft acoustic album closer.
It's the first song i ever wrote so be gentle.

and it is C4C but I'm not that good at songwriting so i can't give very many TIPS per se. sowwy.

Verse 1

Cold
Sweat
Runs
Off your back

Shiver
When you're lost
or when you're found

the cold
of space
overwhelms
the warmth
of the sun
is lost

Verse 2

Cold
rain
on bare flesh
is a feeling
lost

Deep
in the black-
-ness

the only
sensation
is fear
Changed signature after 4 years.

Will take some time to make a new one.
#2
Totally dug it...ok not totally the line of.

When you're lost
or when you're found

is generic compared to the rest of the piece....fix that and your happy.
If you check my profile song please leave a comment on any part.....THANKS!!!
#3
you found THAT generic? i thought that was the only part of the song that was minutely interesting. daymn i need to really check out other people's songwriting to see what good stuff is.
Changed signature after 4 years.

Will take some time to make a new one.