#1
Yes, Im aware that black seeds on virgin soil is an Old Man's Child song, its a tribute to them.


A snake has consumed his empire of deceit
9 Plagues and Hordes of angels wont save you from defeat
Defame the name of Jesus
Deface the house of God
Your blind faith has led you straight to hell
Black Seeds on Virgin Soil

Mother Mary Weeps
While father Joseph tends his sheep
We blunt forced Jesus in his cradle
Ripped the flesh from all his bones
innocent body raped and scorned
Whipped until he denounced his faith

The disciples were beheaded for the book of lies
No saints were there to save them from the Lord of Flies
An angel he cast down
Into the depths of fire
from a cowardly god he will take back his empire

We will embrace the darkness with open arms
All will be mesmerized by the dark lord's charm
Sacrifice for forgiveness
An apple from his love
Sin will consume all the land
The final hour is at hand

Cowardly God
With all his lies
Burned the human race
in the fires of their demise
#2
A snake has consumed his empire of deceit
9 Plagues and Hordes of angels wont save you from defeat
Defame the name of Jesus
Deface the house of God
Your blind faith has led you straight to hell
Black Seeds on Virgin Soil

Flow is not steady in the first two lines. It doesn't feel natural. I suggest taking out a few syllables.

Mother Mary Weeps
While father Joseph tends his sheep
We blunt forced Jesus in his cradle
Ripped the flesh from all his bones
innocent body raped and scorned
Whipped until he denounced his faith

Eh, blunt forced sticks out at me for some reason. I'm not really sure why. I can't give anything to suggest but I thought it might help to point that out.

The disciples were beheaded for the book of lies
No saints were there to save them from the Lord of Flies
An angel he cast down
Into the depths of fire
from a cowardly god he will take back his empire

Flow once more, everything was going good until that last line. Suggestion for it is to shorten it somehow or split it into two lines.

We will embrace the darkness with open arms
All will be mesmerized by the dark lord's charm
Sacrifice for forgiveness
An apple from his love
Sin will consume all the land
The final hour is at hand

"Sacrifice for forgiveness'' this line sounds strange because of the words "for'' and ''forgiveness''. Replacement word would be nice, make it more natural sounding. Preferably replace ''for'', I like ''forgiveness'' being in there.

Cowardly God
With all his lies
Burned the human race
in the fires of their demise

Nice flow, nothing to complain.

Work on the flow and this will be an excellent piece. I enjoyed reading this. Please keep up the good work, and take a look at my work in the signature.

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Your Shallow Grave