#1
Hey, This is a song I wrote a while back. It's about two friends of mine who made what I thought were mistakes but ended up making them happier and how I felt like **** through the whole process. Kind of obscure but I liked the feel of it.

Edit: I added more instrumentation to the song

The link is here Myspace.com/altruisticmusic

Here are the lyrics, Nothing to be proud of but I put them here so you can understand what I'm saying.

Every morning I wake up on the same side of the bed
Some barrier holds me back
But only broken memories and bodies outlined in chalk
Could for into that perfect shape to which my eyes were locked

Blackout pilows and sheets of fever strangled my good friends at some drive in theater she said she wanted him to take her away.

So now babies formula and ecstasy pills accumulate to so much that they outweigh the bills. But they keep their smiles with lips held high by all life's ****. I thought feeling empty would be worse than this but...

We find our cheap ways to avoid the void we're cheapening everything were not make no noise because were looking for gold thru the silence but it's to beautiful when they laugh.

So now i'm downtown with some chick and a drag
buying my comfort in clothes and dinner to relax
turn on all the candle lights till we are a lit with a flame.
I'm just doing this to get it out of my system I know ill get no where nearer to love.

So if I told you right now how much I miss you mistakes.
and your fault line figure strung out all over me ya it makes me shake to think about.

How I have it so much better
Yet I feel so much worse
Ya I have it so much better
But I think I feel so much worse.


Smile alot today... okay?
Last edited by Sumthing Catchy at Mar 8, 2008,
#2
I liked it a lot man...good guitar playing good vox and especially good lyrics...although i myself am sometimes guilty of this i find many lyrics to be...well the same as everyone elses and i thought this sounded really original so good job i'm listening to some of your other songs right now and i gotta say there all good as well
#4
Thanks for the crit guys. Is there anything you want me to crit? I also added to the song if anyone is intrested.
Smile alot today... okay?
#5
I dont want to crit this i just want you to know this song is awesome. *adds you on myspace*

you can check out my new song if you want, it has its own topic but its on my myspace.
Last edited by blackmajik2021 at Mar 8, 2008,
#7
have to say, nice tune man, kinda reminds me of the killers, and good organ and piano playing as well. Overall really good, only thing I could say is maybe tighten up the vocals a bit and level them out. Keep it up though! If you could, listen to mine called misty trail and tell me what you think, its on my ug profile
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